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Post by brokenmama on Jan 16, 2017 15:55:43 GMT
I appreciate this forum so much and all who reply.....good and kind hearts here.....I dont really expect an apology from my daughter since she has never apologized for any of her terrible behavior, although i guess it could happen.......I expect nothing from her because that is what she gives. I have no idea really how i will respond when she does her pop in act (as she did on Christmas with my new grandbaby and stayed for a grand total of 30 minutes)......She is in an abusive marriage. She is a miserable person........Most of the time I just pray ...Lord, help her, keep her safe...I have no idea how all this will turn out....I do know i will not....call her, beg her, drive to where she lives (several hours away) write letter appealing to her heart (i have done that several times, apologizing for i dont know what, saying everything i could think of)......The ball is truly in her court now. I want to know my grandchild of course. I want her to come home. I will not accept abusive behavior from her or anyone else. I have had enough of that for several lifetimes.
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Post by everloving11 on Jan 16, 2017 16:47:04 GMT
I completely understand. Opportunity does not indicate we should move. This is the hardest of all, but you are showing restraint when restraint is due.
Our pastor gave a marvelous sermon yesterday basically about making choices: everytime Jesus said YES to something in His limited human body, He was disappointing those who were asking for something else. He is committed to deeper things than the demands of others. He said that YES because it was fulfilling His higher and better goal. He said NO to good things and YES tot he best thing. If Christ volitionally and knowingly did this, then we don't have to say YES to every opportunity we have to capitulate to our ES.We need to commit to the best rather than the demands put on us - and sometimes our own emotions put those demands on us. People all wants something from us: our money, our time, our energy, our attention. When we say YES to these, we are saying NO to someone else.
Each of us has to figure out what our main purpose or goals are in this life. God is committed to something deeper and better in us than all the demands we put on Him. What has God called you to do --- to be? Be a perfect parent? That didn't work out so well for the ultimate Perfect Parent with His first two kids: Adam and Eve. Make sure each of our kids are happy? Happy will not fix a thing. In fact, happiness will encourage them to be more selfish.
I think the main goal Christ has for me is to show forth His Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, mercy and self-control to those who will receive it. Right now, that isn't happening with our EC. So I give it to my other children, grandchildren, husband, students, fellow workers, friends, those in the community I hobnob with, and even you ~ not perfectly and surely not consistently, but I am trying. And perhaps, just perhaps, I am giving it to someone else's EC who won't take it from their own parents.
I pray, Brokenmama, that you will get zapped by a heavenly blessing today and a revelation from God about your situation that will give you hope and peace. I pray this for all of us.
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Post by difficulttime2 on Jan 16, 2017 23:01:46 GMT
I agree broken ... groveling and begging doesn't work and we are not required to be a doormat... or be abused by our own children.
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Post by luke2231 on Jan 17, 2017 1:16:23 GMT
Only you know what you can take, Brokenmama. One thing to remember too is that you've done your job as a parent. Certainly we all want to be able to do for our kids as much for as we can. But your ED's an adult and your responsibilities to her have ended. You're under no obligation to live your life holding your breath waiting, watching and wondering for her. In the Bible, children often left home and never saw their parents again. Aside from the prodigal son story, I don't think there is an abundance of instances in the Bible where parents are putting their lives on hold for their children's.
I love what Everloving says: "Opportunity does not indicate we should move."
Praying for you, for BettyShe, ... for all of us, really.
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Post by brokenmama on Jan 17, 2017 1:47:46 GMT
Thank you all for your kind words and may we all have peace from God our Father and may He show us what to do!.......i pray this in His name....
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