clsr2home
New Member
I just joined and was wondering how this works...if someone could help, I'd very much appreciate i
Posts: 2
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Post by clsr2home on Dec 21, 2016 3:46:54 GMT
Hello... I just joined a short while ago and I'm a bit lost...not sure how this works. Just found out how to "create a thread",so I'll start here by asking if anyone can show me how this works, just some tips would be appreciated . Thank you in advance.
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New here
Dec 21, 2016 4:58:07 GMT
via mobile
Post by lindajoan on Dec 21, 2016 4:58:07 GMT
Welcome here. We are blessed you have found us and we desire to be of help to you. We understand estrangement and are here for you.
Do you have any specific question we could help you with about the site?
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Post by JeepGirl on Dec 21, 2016 5:13:15 GMT
First of all, Welcome clsr2home. If you found us, you can be sure God brought you here. And so far, you are doing pretty good. Your created a thread and now we all know you are here. There are more computer savy members here than myself who will be able to guide you through a little better than I can and will be able to answer questions you may have. Since you started this post (thread), I clicked "reply" to respond and when I finish typing, I will click on "post quick reply". Christian Parents used to be on another website and just recently moved here so we are all learning how to maneuver together.
Again, welcome. We all wish we were not in this "estrangement" club but, while we are, Christian Parents is such a wonderful support group to be a part of. There are truly Godly women here who never cease to amaze me with their support, encouragement and love. We all pray for one another and have seen answers to our prayers. Recently, one member just reconciled and we are all so happy for her and her reconciliation gives each of us hope for the future.
You can just come on here and simply "read", and when and, if, you are ready to share at some point, just jump in. We are here and it is a safe place. FYI: You do have to "log in" to make a post or reply to one. If you just want to read, then no need to "log in". There is a way to send personal messages, as well. If you go to top and click on "messages", you will be able to send a private message to one of us, rather than a public post. One step at a time and just yell "help" if you need it.
Prayers and blessings......
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Post by byhisgracealone on Dec 21, 2016 22:31:55 GMT
Welcome clr2home. You are among friends here. We all understand estrangement, and help to comfort and encourage one another. Most of us are learning together how to use the site since it's fairly new, and I think Jeepgirl covered the more important things for you. Please feel free to post when you feel lead, or simply read others posts. Sometimes, someone else is experiencing something very similar, and it helps to read all the supportive suggestions, and please know that we lift one another in prayer as well.
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Post by bettyshe on Dec 22, 2016 2:49:32 GMT
Welcome clsr2home, sorry that you have to be here...but you could not be in a better more encouraging place. God hears our prayers and you will find comfort and friendship. God hears our prayers and I believe he guided you here. God bless you.
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Post by everloving11 on Dec 22, 2016 16:05:23 GMT
LindaJoan can guide you through this site. Just know, like the rest of us, we are all in the same boat - so to speak. We are here to encourage one another and share in the sufferings, knowing we are not alone. Even though I haven't met any of these gals, they are dear sisters of the heart. WELCOME!!!!
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Post by poodlegirl61 on Dec 22, 2016 20:52:55 GMT
Welcome! You will receive a wealth of wisdom from the group here. They are so helpful, welcoming, and kind. I echo everlovings words...these women feel like sisters and I feel like I really know them.
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clsr2home
New Member
I just joined and was wondering how this works...if someone could help, I'd very much appreciate i
Posts: 2
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Post by clsr2home on Jan 9, 2017 3:13:04 GMT
Oh,my...I am just now finding these replies to my first and only post from last month/year! It's been a bit rough lately. Christmas used to be my most favorite time of the year. Not so much anymore. I want to thank each one of you for your welcoming posts. And apologize for not finding them sooner. Right now, I'm finding it difficult to know what to do about my estranged daughter's recent situation that I just found out about Friday. I want to do God's will in this, but do not want to get in His way if He is trying to use her situation to reach her. My estranged daughter and I have a long history of being estranged. It is a long story and would take a long time to explain right now but suffice it to say that she has alienated most of her family because of her behavior towards them. I have tried over and over to overlook, forgive, not bring up her past treatment of me, let it go,etc. For years and years . Her behavior only became more disrespectful, inconsiderate and verbally abusive. I would set boundaries and when she trampled all over them, I would be in the position of telling her that she was no longer welcome to visit or call until she could show some consideration and respect. She is well into her adult years and it seems that this is not something she would still need to learn. We had not communicated since last December. Then this past Friday, she called my sister,asking if she would give me a message. I listened to the message she'd left on my sister's voicemail,and though I was hesitant to open that door again to her, I called her. I found out that she was in the hospital in the town where she lives. Evidently,she'd suffered an acute episode of back pain and was found to have a herniated disc in her lower back that was pressing on a nerve making it almost impossible for her to walk. She wanted me to come to the hospital to "advocate"for her as they'd wanted to discharge her without her being able to walk without assistance as she had some episodes of weakness and inability to stand without help. I agreed to come and see what I could do, talk with the doctor to see if she could stay long enough to have some help at home as she has to use a walker to get around. Unfortunately, hospitals are not set up to keep their patients long-term anymore, so in spite of my attempts to have them keep her over the weekend , and wait til some home health care could be set up, they discharged her Saturday night. Her ex-boyfriend picked her up at the hospital to bring her home. The hospital did allow her to borrow a walker until she could contact a medical supply company to provide for her needs. There is more to this...I've also been traveling to my sister's to take her to the ER for a back injury, which is where I was when my daughter called her on Friday . Then, I've been going back and forth from my house to hers and then to see my daughter in the hospital for the past two days. It's been exhausting but I was glad to be able to be there for them both. Now that my daughter is home, and the boyfriend that she told me she had a restraining order against is "helping" her... I know... (sigh) I am feeling pressured to be there for her so he doesn't have to. This situation is very similar to one I found myself in with her last year when we had another problem communicating, I guess you could call it. Honestly , it is exhausting just writing all of this! I honestly feel like telling her to forget it! I'm horrible , I know. But she has pushed me the limits physically before to the point where I ended up in the hospital ER last year. And, I feel that the more I give to her, the more she wants . It is never enough! I am sorry but I just can't relate any more of our history right now. It just brings it all back and it takes me a while to recover. I just want to do what God wants me to do. But I know that physically, emotionally and financially I cannot be there day in and day out for months it looks like if she goes ahead with surgery, or even one or two more weeks. She'd only say at the end of it all that I never did anything for her. She's said that many times before over the years. I know that God can and will provide whatever I need. But, I am already exhausted and it's only been two days of driving to and from and being out trying to help my sister and my daughter. She had been with this man last year and when he was going to have her and her 11 year old granddaughter forcibly removed from his house one night, she had my great-granddaughter call me, crying, begging me to let them come stay with me! I had explained to my daughter before this happened that I had no room for them to stay as I live in a one bedroom apartment without any sleeping area for two more people. Plus, the policy here is for visitors to sTay only two weeks. She had moved in once with my mother long ago with three children and her husband in a very small one bedroom trailer for three months! I don't know how my mother was able to handle it. She was elderly, and would not have said no. She supported them at that yime, too. I feel my daughter takes advantage of people,especially family, as that's what families are supposed to do, she believes, support others when they can't do it themselves , even if it's their elderly grandmother living on modest means. So, there's this battle going on in my head and heart. I want to please God. But, unfortunately, I know my daughter from her past behavior. I don't want to be used and then kicked to the curb when she's done with me, as she's done so many times in the past. And, I wonder if God isn't taking away all her human resources so she turns to Him....
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New here
Jan 9, 2017 5:25:12 GMT
via mobile
Post by lindajoan on Jan 9, 2017 5:25:12 GMT
I am so sorry you are going through so much. Please pray and get some rest before making any decisions. It is important to see how the Lord is really leading you to move forward. It must be what the Lord is leading you to do and not what others are pushing you to do. We desire to be of help to others but it sounds as if you are very tired. Jesus cares about you and surely would not want you to hurt yourself. Please be kind to yourself. One person can not do it all. We care. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Saying a prayer for you.
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Post by everloving11 on Jan 9, 2017 13:48:17 GMT
I am also praying. God understands your dilemma. WE are here for you. Thank you for unloading.
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Post by luke2231 on Jan 9, 2017 18:33:45 GMT
Dear clsr2home, I'm sorry I haven't welcomed you before now, but I'm so glad you're here! Vent/grieve/complain away... we've got your back! I will make it a point to pray for you and your situation; it does sound exhausting, mentally and physically. May God give you the rest so you need for the clarity to hear His will.
You said "And, I wonder if God isn't taking away all her human resources so she turns to Him...." I sincerely hope so. I hate to pray for anyone to be brought to their knees, but sometimes that's what's truly needed to turn things around. You know your daughter and history better than anyone, but her wanting you to advocate for her tells me that deep down, she does know all you've done for her. And of course you're not horrible for feeling like you shouldn't or wouldn't help her - you're only human! Besides, even if you wanted to take care of her, if YOU are physically unable to, how can you be expected to care for another?
Whether you have support in the real world or not, know that this virtual group is here to uplift you! God Bless and hugs to you!
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New here
Jan 12, 2017 3:22:29 GMT
via mobile
Post by JeepGirl on Jan 12, 2017 3:22:29 GMT
Clsr, I read your post 2x and I believe if you re-read it, you will see you have the answers to your questions. You said there was no way you could physically, emotionally or financially do this. She also has this man helping her so she obviously reached out to him before you. She also knows your living situation and the rules.
I would simply tell her the same reasons you told us as to why you cannot help her the way she wants. If there are "some" little things you can do for her that would not stress you, then maybe you can offer those. Looks like she was able to take care of the major issues.
I will pray for YOUR health as well as your daughter's and pray for God to show what ways you can possibly be of help to her, if at all.
You are going thru so much right now and maybe God wants YOU to be taken care of and to realize your limitations. Asking Him to speak to you and comfort you. Virtual hugs....
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