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Post by poodlegirl61 on Nov 6, 2016 4:04:12 GMT
Okay, so you've been warned! Well, my ES and his wife had their third baby...he was born October 20. Another fine, healthy boy. This makes six grandsons total!!!! Two from my oldest dear son, one from my daughter, and then the three from the ES. How did I find out? Well he called my mom on the pretense of "checking on her' and causally mentioned it. He did not, however, call or text my youngest son, with whom he had been in contact for the previous months. I am sure his crazy wife decided he was not allowed to talk to him either, so that was that. Remember, our youngest son was the only family member he would talk to. But I guess now that is null and void. My pain right now is excruciating. I have a number of friends who are welcoming new grand babies. And my daughter's situation is terrible. She is very close to us, for which I am grateful, but her estranged husband is just, well...for lack of words...he is a POS! There, I said it. He cheated on her, and humiliated her, and would not go to counseling no matter how much we begged! And our daughter warned him to be very sure of what he was doing because once it was done, it was done, and she would not stay single forever and at some point there WOULD be another man in her and her son's life, so he should be very sure. Well he did not care one bit! Oh no, he was too happy having fun and chasing after other girls! Well, after MUCH heartbreak and grief, believe it or not, but another WONDERFUL kind loving man had entered her life and loves her and her child in spite of everything. So now guess what? Her husband is oh so sorry, and now wishes his self back, but my daughter told me she forgives him wholly, as God forgives, but she is not God, and is only human,and can never forget. She has moved on now. And so now he acts all pitiful like a victim. And my daughter is so much kinder and better than I am. I want to slap him. I am not forgiving. God help me but I am not. I want him to suffer and hurt. I look at their precious little boy, and now he is from a broken home, thanks to his father. My daughter has told me no matter what she will never take him back. Even if she didn't have this other man in her life she wouldn't. She could never trust him. It is such a mess. I am a mess. Please pray for all of us.
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Post by lindajoan on Nov 6, 2016 5:00:45 GMT
Poodle, I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. There is a lot on your plate.
It seems as if your ES called your mother so you would find out about the baby. It is so sad that these grandchildren are missing out on a wonderful grandmother. We can pray one day that will change. I am sorry for what you have seen your daughter go through also. We hurt for our children. Even when we are hurting we try to stay strong for our other children. We need the strength and grace of the Lord to do this. Cling to Him for your strength.
Sending prayer and hugs your way.
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Post by everloving11 on Nov 6, 2016 13:29:53 GMT
Am praying - I understand, even though it's only one grandson for us that we have never held...
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Post by luke2231 on Nov 6, 2016 19:33:57 GMT
Poodlegirl, I'm so very sorry. It all just seems to pile on at once sometimes, doesn't it? I'll be praying for you and all of the situations you're having to deal with. As well as for all the people involved. God is able, even if we can't see it! (Hugs)
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Post by byhisgracealone on Nov 6, 2016 21:41:17 GMT
I'm sorry poodlegirl. It's so difficult when we're blocked from seeing our own grandchildren....and there's never any real reason! Just our EC acting more like children themselves. I'll pray for your family, that your son's heart will be softened, like all of our EC. They all need to bow before The Lord and leave their sins at the foot of the cross.
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Post by JeepGirl on Nov 9, 2016 19:48:54 GMT
Poodlegirl, we have all been a "blubbering mess" at some point and, like everyone else here, my heart and prayers go out to you. I do agree with lindajoan that your es called your mom so you would know about the baby. He may have stopped communicating with others but he is still in touch with her and it seems that is a good thing. At some point, your mom may be the "connecter". But leaving that up to the Lord. His ways our better than ours.
And it is really a good thing that your daughter found a wonderful man. And although she is forgiving of her estranged husband, her eyes are now open and she will not go back into a bad situation. Our hearts break for our grandchildren, whether from a divorce, illness, school issues, lack of friends, etc., but we truly have to have FAITH that God will protect them (as HE hears our prayers). And please don't be so hard on yourself for your feelings. They are a "natural" result of all that has happened. In time, God will give you the ability to forgive and move on from your feelings about him. Just thank the Lord for your daughter's son and just love on him. He has a special grandma.
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Post by 1hurtmom on Nov 10, 2016 12:11:57 GMT
poodlegirl61 I am so sorry you are missing out on your grandchildren lives. I dont think that this is ok and God surely loves you and doesn't want your family torn apart like this. What I have realized is our children all have choices and free will. I believe our power is in prayer as we can not control our children's actions towards us. I want to validate your pain and suffering to let you know I will pray for you. God loves you and he truly does care. Unfortunately the reality is your ES is making bad choices right now that are having negative impacts on several people's lives that he will soon regret. I pray for his heart to be changed and his eyes to be open.
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Post by everloving11 on Nov 11, 2016 14:28:07 GMT
I want to give you my heartfelt congratulations on your new grandson. Let me give you a different perspective that helped me when our last grandson was born last year...never seen, never held, never kissed - no pics, no announcement - same story - same song.
I am an historian. I am giving a presentation tomorrow about a major trail that hooked up with the Oregon Trail. Over a century ago, in the mid 1860's, it was common for young couples to set out for the untamed western frontier. No address - no communication for months or years or perhaps ever. Grandchildren were born whom grandma never saw. Grandchildren died without a grandmother ever getting to hold these precious souls on this side of glory. This was the stuff our predecessors were made of - the same hearts, the same longings. They would understand your pain.
Oh, Poodlegirl, God bless you with peace as you place this precious little boy in His hands - let Him love this little one in your place until that day you are united with him. And even if you never get to see him on earth, pray for him to accept Jesus and you will be with him for eternity. It will be worth it all. I credit my salvation to a couple of ladies who enrolled me in a cradle roll when I was born in scandal ~ who prayed for me to come to the Lord. Out of my whole family, I always felt a draw towards the Lord. And He was and is faithful to those prayers...again and again.
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Post by barbyzhere on Nov 14, 2016 20:12:06 GMT
I love what everloving 11 said. It gives me peace and I hope it does the same for you poodlegirl. Everyone here has replied with words of love and wisdom.
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