Update on reuniting with ES
Sept 28, 2016 11:58:58 GMT
Post by Hope on Sept 28, 2016 11:58:58 GMT
It's been a bit since I posted. I just wanted to give an update on the healing process for our family.
To briefly recap, our ES contacted us in July, after over 4 years of complete silence, inviting us to his home for a cook out. This came about after our grandsons had first contacted us, and had made it known to their parents, and others that they wanted a relationship with us, their grandparents.
We have since gotten together several times, but never alone with our son or his family. We tried inviting them once, them alone to our house for dinner. At first the invitation was accepted , but then our son texted and gave some reasons why it wouldn't work, and we ended up going to his home for dinner, to where my daughter, her family, my youngest son and his girlfriend were also there. So our gathering together is always with everyone around. He is obviously not ready for alone time with us, and in some sense this still feels like estrangement to us. Our son is polite, smiles, and chit chats. His hugs and words "Love you" when we greet or say goodbye are restrained. But we know he is trying, and we must give him time , and move in the timing of the Lord to bring healing. We pray for patience, to wait for God to do the work.
Last weekend, we attended a play that my oldest grandson was in, along with everyone else. When we were invited, we did not know that everyone else would also be there, but. Guess should not have been surprised. When we arrived, and I saw my daughter, her husband, kids, and my youngest son and girlfriend, I walked up to them and said, "What a nice surprise, I didn't know everyone would be here." My daughter responded, "Well of course, we are always here together for these events." Hurt, pain, immediately welled up. I managed to hold back and was silent. Did she forget that in these last 4 years we, their parents, have not been included in any of these events. We had no idea the oldest GS was into theater (very good, we found out), that the other was an avid baseball player, and the youngest, 10, is a talented gymnast, already competing on a team. We are just getting to know them. She and my youngest son have been with them as they were invited to all events in my oldest sons family. Much changes in 4 years.
But the Lord has blessed us. The grandsons are warm toward us and make us feel so welcomed. When everyone did gather once at our house, when my fatherinlaw was visiting, my oldest grandson brought tears to our eyes. Our dinner was set out, buffet style in our kitchen. The kids got their meals first and sat down. My daughter in law noticed that the oldest was just sitting in front of his food not eating as the others were, and asked what was wrong. He responded, "We're in grandma and grandpa 's house, and they pray before they eat in this house. I'm waiting for Papa to lead us in prayer."
God is so good. It was a reminder to me that God is intervening, and it is not about healing the relationship of our children with us, but of healing the relationship of all our children with their Heavenly Father.
To briefly recap, our ES contacted us in July, after over 4 years of complete silence, inviting us to his home for a cook out. This came about after our grandsons had first contacted us, and had made it known to their parents, and others that they wanted a relationship with us, their grandparents.
We have since gotten together several times, but never alone with our son or his family. We tried inviting them once, them alone to our house for dinner. At first the invitation was accepted , but then our son texted and gave some reasons why it wouldn't work, and we ended up going to his home for dinner, to where my daughter, her family, my youngest son and his girlfriend were also there. So our gathering together is always with everyone around. He is obviously not ready for alone time with us, and in some sense this still feels like estrangement to us. Our son is polite, smiles, and chit chats. His hugs and words "Love you" when we greet or say goodbye are restrained. But we know he is trying, and we must give him time , and move in the timing of the Lord to bring healing. We pray for patience, to wait for God to do the work.
Last weekend, we attended a play that my oldest grandson was in, along with everyone else. When we were invited, we did not know that everyone else would also be there, but. Guess should not have been surprised. When we arrived, and I saw my daughter, her husband, kids, and my youngest son and girlfriend, I walked up to them and said, "What a nice surprise, I didn't know everyone would be here." My daughter responded, "Well of course, we are always here together for these events." Hurt, pain, immediately welled up. I managed to hold back and was silent. Did she forget that in these last 4 years we, their parents, have not been included in any of these events. We had no idea the oldest GS was into theater (very good, we found out), that the other was an avid baseball player, and the youngest, 10, is a talented gymnast, already competing on a team. We are just getting to know them. She and my youngest son have been with them as they were invited to all events in my oldest sons family. Much changes in 4 years.
But the Lord has blessed us. The grandsons are warm toward us and make us feel so welcomed. When everyone did gather once at our house, when my fatherinlaw was visiting, my oldest grandson brought tears to our eyes. Our dinner was set out, buffet style in our kitchen. The kids got their meals first and sat down. My daughter in law noticed that the oldest was just sitting in front of his food not eating as the others were, and asked what was wrong. He responded, "We're in grandma and grandpa 's house, and they pray before they eat in this house. I'm waiting for Papa to lead us in prayer."
God is so good. It was a reminder to me that God is intervening, and it is not about healing the relationship of our children with us, but of healing the relationship of all our children with their Heavenly Father.
