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Post by poodlegirl61 on Aug 15, 2016 16:36:00 GMT
This isn't about my estranged son, but my youngest. We moved him back home from college this weekend, and now he is living with us. Long story short, he actually graduated in December with a degree in kinesiology, but wanted to go into Occupational Therapy and for that school they required some extra classes he didn't have, so he stayed at the university taking those extra prerequisites. Now he's done and he's moved home. He will be taking the GRE soon and then applying for OT school. I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it....I have been absolutely dreading this. He's the baby, the youngest of 4, but he has a very negative, Debbie Downer type attitude and always has. Yesterday when we packed him up to move home he looked like his puppy had just gotten run over and I can't begin to count how many deep sighs he gave. He acts depressed. He has NEVER been the peppy, energetic go-getter type that his older brother (not the estranged one, but the other older one) is. That older brother is a PT and he was very good about getting recommendations, following through with his hours of observation, everything. Well this kid is just different. Very bright, good grades, great in the classroom, but when it comes to PROCESSES and APPLICATIONS and HAVING TO TALK TO PEOPLE....well that is a different story. And who knows how long it will take for him to even get accepted into OT school, if he ever does? It is really hard. And what to do in the meantime? Well for years, in the summers and on weekends he has had a job at a tire shop, which actually pays pretty well, so I am certain he could go back there. But he really needs to find a job in a hospital setting, or a rehab setting, so it would look better on his application. But that would require going out and actually looking, and talking to people, and .....you get the idea. So for now, he's home with us, his boxes are everywhere, and I would do anything in the world to help him. But he's not a baby anymore and he has got to help himself and I am just afraid for him. And for me. I had a panic attack last night that this was going to be my new normal. Like I said, I know this isn't about my estranged kid. But it is about one of my kids who needs prayers. And so do I and my husband. And many of you remember my daughter is going through a divorce, and of course there is the estranged one. Honestly my family has been through the wringer. I am just having a hard time today. Thank you for listening.
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Post by lindajoan on Aug 15, 2016 18:03:01 GMT
You absolutely can use prayer. I will remember you in prayer my friend.
There are a lot of adjustments that your son is going through but that means you and your DH are going through adjustments too. It sounds like your son has a hard time with change. Some personalities are more that way. How old is he? Could he be concerned about his future career plans? I know it is important to get experience in his field. Let's pray that he does. My son who is a nurse had to put his time in as a nurse's aide during nursing school. That helped him get an excellent job after school.
Please stay in close fellowship with the Lord and keep active in good positive activities. You need to be strong for yourself first and then others. Please keep us updated. Caring and prayer are being sent your way.
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Post by barbyzhere on Aug 15, 2016 18:55:31 GMT
Oh poodle, I can hear the fear and pain. You and your family are in my prayers, even as I write this. I've been having a pity party because I lost my beloved dog Lola 4 weeks ago, and my home, my life and my soul feel so incredibly empty. Then I read this. It helped me get a different perspective. I know what a panic attack feels like. It's hell. I pray in Jesus' powerful name that you feel the everlasting arms upholding you. I pray that the plan God had all along for your son will be revealed and materialize, to the glory of God.
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Post by byhisgracealone on Aug 15, 2016 19:24:45 GMT
I'm praying for you poodle. Please let your son know there are plenty of entry level opportunities in healthcare, and he might want to begin getting his feet wet in any clinical capacity, so he has a reference on his resume. A fairly new website "Indeed.com" is very helpful with healthcare opportunities nationwide, he may want to try. I pray The Lord gives you peace and guidance through this new time for your family.
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Post by luke2231 on Aug 15, 2016 19:55:09 GMT
I feel you, Poodle! My youngest is back at home too, and not too very interested in being proactive about life. I keep telling her that if she doesn't make some effort to make her life what SHE wants it to be, circumstances will dictate it for her. Still... not much movement, and it's very frustrating! I'll definitely keep your son in my prayers. And you and your husband too, to have wisdom to know what, how and when to say things to move him along...
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Post by poodlegirl61 on Aug 16, 2016 13:03:35 GMT
Thank you everyone. Lindajoan, he is 25. The first two years of college he basically floundered, not really knowing what degree to pursue, so it took him longer than some. But once he settled on kinesiology, he did great. He absolutely LOVED college life, and he loved living away from home, and made many new friends. But like I said, all good things must end, and the bottom line is we were spending $750 per month for his apartment, and now that he is done with school, we just can't continue to do that. And he just doesn't make that much working in the tire shop on weekends. So that is why he is back home. I will check into that website "Indeed.com". I had never heard of it. Today he says he is going to go check around the hospitals around here to see about work. LIke I said earlier, he could always work at the tire shop here (there is one here as well as the university...it is a major chain company) and instead of weekends he could work full time, if something doesn't open up in the healthcare field. And he needs to take the GRE of course, and then send off the applications. In the meantime we wait. Last night he said he wishes he could find his own place to live in the meantime, which I agree, it would be glorious. Or split the rent with a friend somewhere. But he needs a full-time job for that. So we shall see. I am just taking deep breaths and praying a lot. Thank you all for your support.
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Post by JeepGirl on Aug 16, 2016 17:30:20 GMT
Poodlegirl, not only do we understand estrangements, but any of us who have gone thru the college thing (leaving and returning) also understand what you are experiencing. I tell moms, "I cried when she left and I cried when she returned."
Since this is such a time of adjustment, I would go slowly. If his old job will take him back and that is his comfort zone for awhile, sobeit. He will also have an income. You know the old saying, "It is better to find another job when you have one already". (or something similar-lol) He probably needs some time to settle in. (of course, not too much-lol) And, if you have to help him, it really doesn't matter what age he is because some people take longer to mature. And then there are some who just will always need help....from mom or their wife, someday, and we can't change that. Only pray to God to do a work.
I found dd and I had to go over some house rules when she returned from college but Thank the Lord, she met a wonderful Christian guy while at school and they became engaged and got married and her old room became my office. Hang in there, girlfriend. As my spiritual mom used to say, "This too shall pass." But my prayers for you and your son are lifted up to Jesus.
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Post by lindajoan on Aug 16, 2016 19:17:07 GMT
It seems like your son is thinking about jobs and living arrangements. I remember being in shock when I went to live home again after college. College years go by so quickly. He did great for just being 25 I think. I am speaking as a mom of 3 sons. They are all different.
Please keep us updated. God bless your family.
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