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Post by JeepGirl on Jan 2, 2020 4:42:36 GMT
Hi Everyone, Well, the holidays are over. It is a brand new year.
I have friends that are estranged and others who are going thru the grief of the loss of a loved one. I can relate to their heartaches and can certainly understand their feelings about the holidays. My one friend who lost her husband recently not only had to get thru Thanksgiving and Christmas but their wedding anniversary was December 27th. In the midst of my joy of being reunited with my son, my heart ached for my friend and wanted to help but knew the best I could do was to pray,be sensitive to her and respect her decisions. I believe my own estrangement has made me more sensitive to the heartbreak of others and I try to choose my words carefully. I rarely said "Merry" Christmas this year. I also learned to respect their privacy and although I wanted one friend, in particular, to join us for dinners, etc., she was firm in stating she wanted to be by herself and was taking one day at a time. Isn't that how we felt, especially in the first days, months, year(s) of our estrangements? I dreaded Christmas for most of the years of my estrangement and like, my friends, was so glad when it was all over and it was the beginning of a New Year.
Coming here helped so much throughout the years. Being Believers, we would encourage each other with kind words and prayers, reminders to continue to trust in the Lord in spite of our circumstances and that He was in control. Life is so much harder for non-Believers and it makes me want to tell them about Jesus even more. I feel my testimony of estrangement will help in my witnessing to hurting people. Our estrangements certainly encompassed so many situations. I wasn't invited to my son's wedding, was not a part of the birth of my first grandchild, not invited to birthdays, graduations, etc. Had many distortions and untruths said about me and the list goes on and on. However, I know God is going to use my past pain to encourage others to come to know Him and to know there truly is hope in Him. The hardest part for me was the waiting and seeing year after year go by and trying to hang onto God's truth through it all. I guess I needed a lot of refining, but I am thankful now. Our sanctification as Believers involves more than we ever imagined, including our estrangements but, He truly walks with us and sustains us and will until the day He calls us Home.
New Year blessings...
Romans 8:28 |
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Post by butterflyday on Jan 2, 2020 15:04:18 GMT
Jerp, that post could only be written from a person who has gone through pain. That is the reason you can help others and say the words “I understand”. This is now your testimony which you desire to use and not waste the Red Sea Experience that God has brought you through. You will bless many like you do for us and lead others to the only answer,Jesus. God bless you in 2020.
Blessings and Shalom in 2020 to all.
Love,
Linda
“When you tell your story you give God the glory”
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Post by luke2231 on Jan 2, 2020 15:08:40 GMT
Hi Jeep!
I can't imagine all you've gone through and I certainly am in the middle of something like it myself. I am so grateful for your heart that understands and breaks alongside those of us still in the middle of waiting... I know that you are praying for us and are sensitive to our pain.
I too have a friend who lost her husband recently. He died the week before Thanksgiving, the day before their anniversary, and she had to spend those holidays and Christmas without him. It was her second time being widowed. Like you, I think I'm more aware of the power of words because of my estrangement, and I read somewhere else about a woman who has been through all kinds of health issues, loss of loved ones, estrangement, job loss, and the list goes on, but in spite of all of these things, is determined to learn and grow from each of these. Recognizing that others are in difficult places during the holidays, instead of asking the normal "Are your ready for Christmas?" or "What are your holiday plans?" kinds of questions, she now asks "Are the holidays a good time for you?" and then carries on the conversation according to that individual's response. I thought that was a fantastic question and something I'm going to go with next year.
I think that even though some of our lives may be good, or bad, we all really just want to be seen and known. We're all aching for connection. We're hoping that others will understand us in our good places and our bad.
The best way to do that for ourselves is to do that for others.
I believe that's what this forum does. It's what small groups do, and so many other venues; we just have to look for ways to let others share their stories and then we can connect them to ours.
For example... "The hardest part for me was the waiting and seeing year after year go by and trying to hang onto God's truth through it all." This is where I am. You've been there. You understand. Boy, do you understand! Seeing you on "the other side" is exactly what I need to see. This is God sharing His hope with me, through you, and the others. When I'm doubting and hanging on by a thread, it's this place and these words that sustain my faith and trust.
While I'm so happy for your breakthrough, please don't stop coming back to encourage and share your story. We need it. I need it.
Hugs... and tears in my eyes, and hope in my heart....
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Post by bettyshe on Jan 6, 2020 11:10:12 GMT
Jeep Ditto to the above for me.
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Post by everloving11 on Jan 16, 2020 21:53:52 GMT
Beautifully said and well-put ~ I agree whole-heartedly. Even though I went through about everything bad a child could go through, responding with great anger and bitterness, I am thankful now for each and every 'event' as they have taught me what I could not learn any other way. When I tell the applicable part of my story to a child who is suffering the same thing I did, they can look me in the eyes and say, "You understand how I feel." Then I can share the "rest of the story" of God's healing and love and forgiveness for my bad attitudes. Amen and amen!!!
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