Post by JeepGirl on Oct 4, 2019 1:48:11 GMT
I have been estranged from my estranged son for 10 years. I saw my grands in the beginning but, after a while, and a face-to-face confrontation with my es, he said I could no longer see my grandchildren. My granddaughter was in middle school and my grandson in high school at that time. A little over a year ago, I began talking with grands but still not speaking to my es. I also saw my es at a football game a few weeks ago and said "hi" to him. But, honestly, I have no expectations although I made the effort to say "hi" rather than turn my head like a did a year ago when we were also at a football game.
I really believe I have softened, especially after these past few years. Maybe having communication with my grands has something to do with it but I believe my heart had softened before that. In the beginning, I don't have to tell you about all the emotions, pain, hurt, anger, etc. You all know. You have been there. But after a while I realized I had a part in the estrangement and thought about what I could have done differently. I had to get off of the secular estrangement sites because many times there was so much anger and bitterness and no acceptance that they may have played a part in their estrangements. There were demands for apologies before they would talk to their ec.
Being Christians, we have feelings of anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc. just like non-Believers. The difference is, if we stay in the Word, hear the Word in our churches, and seek God's will, we come the point where we know we have to forgive and have to extend grace. It may take a while because of the shock, extreme pain and hurt we feel at first. When I asked for your thoughts about including my es in my Will, I accepted the suggestion that I should leave my es something, not as much as my dd, but something. I actually felt that was the right thing to do and I wanted him to see that I didn't just cross him out. Prayerfully, he will someday realize that I showed him grace in response to the hate he has shown me and although we do not talk, he is still my son and I love him.
So, I believe I have changed for the better from all of the years of estrangement. Never would have thought this would be the result. I am so glad I allowed the Lord to do a work in me. Prayers and Love...