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Post by JeepGirl on Sept 7, 2017 21:57:43 GMT
Hi Everyone, So much going on in the world with hurricanes, North Korea, deportation, etc. I just didn't feel my situation was so important.
As I have mentioned before, I have seen my 19-year old estranged grandson several times at a service station where he works. I haven't drove there recently because other than talk to him when I go there, I don't hear from him or see him. I know my es has probably given both kids strict orders to stay away from me. I was thinking when my gs was older, he would just come by but it hasn't happened.
One week ago, my husband and I pulled into a gas station 5 minutes from my house and my grandson was there. We were surprised to see him because he works about 30 minutes from our house. He told us he transferred to our town in order to work over time and had just worked 2-17hr shifts. He looked terrible. But he said he was saving for a car. Although I have talked to him several times, this was the first time my husband was in the car. I noticed gs started stuttering (like he did when he was in school) but he talked to my husband about drums (which they both have in common) and, after about 10-15 minutes a car pulled up and we had to leave. It has been good seeing him and talking to him, and I know this last time when he was working in our town, it was definitely a God thing. But we pull off and that's it. I have given him cards that ask him to stop by our house but no response. I was hoping my dh would have said to come by but he told me he didn't feel it was the right time. My grandson was soooooo close to our home.
Next, last Saturday night my dd's son had a major soccer game, 8pm and it was pouring rain. It was a mess. But as we were walking to field, I saw 2 people in my daughter's car but not sure who they were. I actually thought it was my dd and my gd. Car was in first row facing the field. I also discovered my es was there (up in bleachers so I did have to deal with him) and my diL was there but didn't go by her. We all had huge umbrellas and with the pouring rain I don't think anyone cared about seeing anyone. I decided to walk back toward my daughter's car and my 11yr old granddaughter was in driver's seat and my es's daughter (15years) was in passenger. When I looked at her, she said "hi". I then commented on how long her hair got, the pretty color, etc. I also asked her about school and she told me how much better she was doing than when in middle school. She seemed so happy talking to me but then, just like with her brother, I say I have to go and then leave.
I was so angry at my es and dil because I saw, first-hand, what it does to the grands when their parents keep them from us. So confused, but happy to see me. And then there is my dd's daughter (who I see all the time), just watching it all and taking it in. I have no idea what my dd has told her three kids about me and my situation with their Aunt and Uncle and their cousins. All of this has been so awkward and uncomfortable and I did thank God for allowing me to see and talk to grands. But then, what is next? My es told me in no uncertain terms to stay away from him and his kids and that no one wants to see me. He had so much anger that I was even advised by a professional to honor his requests. All I can think of is "Be Still and know that I am God;..." Psalm 46:10
So, I thank God for the moments He has given me with my estranged grands, but should I just sit and continue to wait and see?
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Post by luke2231 on Sept 7, 2017 22:21:54 GMT
Oh JeepGirl,
I just want to cry. For you. For your grandchildren. For me. For my family. It really is just so hard and so stupid, this estrangement stuff. As if we were Jeffrey Dahmer/Ted Bundy/Charles Manson all rolled into one. What we supposedly did to our kids is so meager compared to those criminals, but we're treated worse than them. And the collateral damage is intense. Not just for us, but our extended family members and especially the grandchildren. How can they learn to trust their own feelings and intuition if their grandparents are kept from them for some vague reasons?
I don't have any grandchildren (that I know of, although, it's possible since my ES has been married for almost 4 years) but if this were me, I think I would just continue to let God orchestrate the "happen chance" meetings. You didn't know your grandson worked at that station, yet you stopped there and there he was. You didn't anticipate your other granddaughter sitting in your daughter's car, yet there she was. I don't see these coincidences as coincidences, but as divine appointments. To me, it almost is as if God is trying to show you how very much in CHARGE He IS of the situation; He's letting these seemingly random meetings happen when tension or "pre-planned" conversations are absent. He's just allowing you (and your grandchildren) to be themselves, which is EXACTLY what they need to see you being... kind, respectful, thoughtful, interested in them, etc...
It's often hard to see clearly when our emotions and thoughts are replaying everything 24/7, and while I'm no expert, from the outside looking in, it seems to be unfolding precisely how it should be...
Sending you hugs and prayers for wisdom, clarity and above all, peace in trusting His plan...
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Post by JeepGirl on Sept 8, 2017 3:26:58 GMT
Thank you for your reply, luke. It was so kind and encouraging. My feelings about keeping still were like your reply, but I needed the confirmation and I know God used you. It is so much easier to start "doing" rather than to listen to His Word...."Be still...."
As we read each other's posts, I believe we can be more objective in our replies. This site has its quiet times but when anyone needs help, guidance or prayer, we are here for each other. It is not a place that brings us down, makes us feel alone or makes us feel our situations our hopeless. It is a place that is covered by the Lord and where He uses us as His "vessels". All praise and glory to our Savior! |
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Post by lindajoan on Sept 8, 2017 19:39:59 GMT
Dear Jeep, It is amazing how the Lord continues to have you see your dear grandchildren. I am blessed to hear this.
I believe waiting on the Lord is the right thing to do. He sees the beginning from the end. You are in my prayers. Your gc need you and DH in their lives.
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Post by everloving11 on Sept 30, 2017 23:38:02 GMT
Each time, every time, a snippet of a blessing. I am happy for you, though I know your heart aches to have a real, on-going relationship.
I don't know if I ever shared about a dream that God gave me early last year. The situation was that our ES and his wife had a baby boy nearly two years ago that we have never seen or been told about. In fact, early that same year, the prenatal tests showed that this was a girl with boy genetics and the doctor wanted our DIL to abort. This was all relayed long distance as we were driving down to see them. Our ES said that I wasn't to bring it up because it would upset our DIL. But she did bring it up and I told both of them to get another testing done - sure enough, the clinic had messed up the first tests and the baby boy was fine. So, I felt I had a hand in saving his little life.....
Anyway, the DREAM: my DIL invited me to come to our grandson's daycare - he was about 2-3. She was standing in the background nodding and smiling at me. I got down on my knees to be on a level with little one as he was coming to me, arms wide open. He ran into my arms and gave me a hug I could FEEL - even through the dream. It was as real and physical as if he really was in my arms - and I hugged him in return. What woke me up from such a dream? I have arthritis in both knees and I was wondering, as I was dreaming, how I was going to get back up! LOL But that hug was a supernatural gift from God. If I never get to hug this grandson, God interceded and drew us together in a dream.
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Post by JeepGirl on Oct 1, 2017 4:14:30 GMT
That dream had to be soooooo comforting. I agree that it was God's special gift to you, as my surprise encounters with my grands are. And how I would love to hug them but, of course, that has not happened. I always heard that hugs were so important to people and they truly are. I am glad you got yours and pray you will have lots of hugs in the future and God will restore your relationship.
PS You certainly did have a hand in saving that little boy's life. You had God's hand giving you the wisdom to share with dil.
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