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Post by difficulttime2 on Apr 13, 2017 22:50:32 GMT
For those of you who don't know my story, my ED estranged by calling the police on us when she went silent. We went to her apartment to check on her and she essentially 'lay in wait' knowing we'd look for her when she went off the grid ... when we knocked on her door, she and her husband called the police and lied to them and said we had 'harrassed her day and night' and they were in fear for their lives!' All complete and total lies ... and then through the police they said if we EVER contacted them or the grandbabies ... they would file a restraining order against us. (Just FYI, the last time we had seen her before she went 'off the grid' with ALL FAMILY, FAMILY FRIENDS AND ALL RELATIVES, we had gone to dinner where she hugged us and told us she loved us.) We were blindsided.
Fast forward, 7 years later ... complete silence.... We have waited ... given it to God... Now, this Sunday, Easter is my ED's birthday. Very bittersweet. I was so tempted to send something ... but that's my timing, not His. My emotions got in the way this week. I got tired of waiting on Him and tried to make things happen on my own. ... never a good idea!
Anyway, tough week ... those waves keep rolling over, even after 7 years, but He is still faithful. I am weak, but He is strong! Thanks, just wanted to share.... Hope you all have a wonderful Easter ... He is risen!
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Post by luke2231 on Apr 13, 2017 23:45:22 GMT
Oh... difficult... my heart hurts for you. I was actually thinking about the waves of emotions today (my birthday is in a couple weeks). Sometimes try as we might, giving it to Him, prayer, etc..., the riptide of our emotions sucks us back out and adrift again.
I grew up near the ocean though, and it was always drummed into me that when the riptide came, it was best to lay on your back and let the current bring you back to shore. It sounds as if you've figured out the "giving up control" thing to get you back to safety in Him. But that doesn't mean it isn't terrifying and uncomfortable.
My prayers are with you. I know you know, but Jesus IS carrying you through this.
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Post by lindajoan on Apr 14, 2017 5:32:47 GMT
Difficult, Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry you had to go through such a hard time 7 years ago. When our ED left home she also got the police involved and told lies. It is a heartbreaking for parents.
I was so blessed by your post which said you want God's timing and not your own. That is truly the best way to be in our lives especially when estrangement is involved. It can only be done in God's strength as you said.
God bless you with His peace during this weekend that holds many memories.
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Post by brokenmama on Apr 14, 2017 14:23:07 GMT
I have also had the police called on me. Its a shocking experience, when your own child does that. Like you, I had just gone looking for her (she had said she was in another city. I knew she was not). This was a long time ago..........i had the experience this week of my EC popping in, suddenly and with no warning....... with my beautiful baby grandchild and then taking her out of my arms and leaving in an angry rage after a very short visit. She became angry and instantly grabbed her things and the smiling happy little one and walked out my door. She went from fine to out my door in a period of 5 minutes............... Knowing it is Gods timing and not my own does not help me right now ( I DO believe that and i am standing on that)......I wont have an answer to why she would come to my door, my home with this beautiful child i so long to see and then walk out yet again. I wont allow that to happen again.......trying to go forward and worship this Easter weekend.
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Post by bythestreams on Apr 14, 2017 16:40:55 GMT
Beware before a celebration and especially Easter. It happened to me 2 years ago the Saturday before Easter. Went to
mailbox with a glee from a daughter. Of course I thought it was an Easter card. No, it was.. don't call, email, contact etc etc. Husbands was even away training for ministry. Alone I was and devastated. The evil one knew I was easy prey. Be alert and on guard ......I had to learn too the hard way. Praying you can rise above it on resurrection Sunday. He is Alive and sees all that is going on. Praise Him for His unfailing love.
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Post by brokenmama on Apr 14, 2017 20:24:31 GMT
Holidays are painful anyway and seem to be a favorite time for our estranged adult children to take a stab at us. My daughter is a Christian, of this i am sure, so it makes it more puzzling. Its Easter weekend (almost)....and we celebrate that HE IS RISEN.......and one day our pain and sorrow will be gone as we join Him at the Throne of Grace....God bless you all
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Post by difficulttime2 on Apr 14, 2017 21:56:41 GMT
Broken ... you know, I think they just thrive on the drama. Like your ED, mine loves drama too ... she has snatched the baby right out of my arms in the middle of feeding him a bottle, for no reason at all! Scooped him up by one arm! That was before she estranged....
When I was considering sending the grandkids something lately, which is something 'normal' that grandmas do ... I reconsidered because I know she'd love nothing better than to dramatically 'return to sender' ... snatch it out of the kids hands, file a restraining order or something else that would prove how harassed she is.
I believe we are at the end of the age of human history and Jesus is coming soon ... What's bad is good and what is good is bad ... the normal that we know is normal ... isn't anymore. He warned us perilous times would come ... they're here. I know it, but it is challenging none the less. Could not do this without Him.... Thank God we serve a RISEN Savior!
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Post by brokenmama on Apr 15, 2017 23:26:39 GMT
Broken ... you know, I think they just thrive on the drama. Like your ED, mine loves drama too ... she has snatched the baby right out of my arms in the middle of feeding him a bottle, for no reason at all! Scooped him up by one arm! That was before she estranged.... When I was considering sending the grandkids something lately, which is something 'normal' that grandmas do ... I reconsidered because I know she'd love nothing better than to dramatically 'return to sender' ... snatch it out of the kids hands, file a restraining order or something else that would prove how harassed she is. I believe we are at the end of the age of human history and Jesus is coming soon ... What's bad is good and what is good is bad ... the normal that we know is normal ... isn't anymore. He warned us perilous times would come ... they're here. I know it, but it is challenging none the less. Could not do this without Him.... Thank God we serve a RISEN Savior! Very similiar situation here. I dont even have her address at this point ........yes, i too believe these are the last days. I have met so many people going through this. Its epidemic..............Yes.....He is risen and we always have hope. Peace will come to us.....if not in this life then when we meet Him in Heaven.....I can hardly wait! |
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Post by JeepGirl on Apr 16, 2017 14:22:45 GMT
It seems we have such similarities, difficulttime. Today is my ES's birthday. And it is about 7-8 years we have been going thru this and he lives 10 minutes down the street, off the same road as us. I didn't attempt anything (card, e-mail, text). I have texts from him (some very bad ones) telling me to leave his family alone and he also returned cards/gifts I sent to kids in the past. I cannot tell from your post whether you did attempt something recently or you just thought about it. I have chosen to do nothing since the returned gifts and messages.
I did mention in another post that I saw my gs at the gas station he works at (in February) and gave him Christmas gifts I had for him and his sister. Never heard back from either one. Of course, I was hoping I would and, even prayed I would. But didn't happen.
My heart is aching a little today, as I am sure yours is, and I have thoughts of ES since I woke up this morning but I will go forward with plans for today. My dd and family are in Florida on Spring Break. But we will spend time with friends today and it is a beautiful (supposed to be 80 degrees) day here in New Jersey. "THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE - WE WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT..." Psalm 118:24
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Post by difficulttime2 on Apr 16, 2017 20:39:03 GMT
Jeep: Unbelievable your ES birthday is today too, wow! I know exactly how you feel!
No, I didn't send anything and much has happened since I thought of sending something. I will write about it at another time. In short, I feel God pulled the curtain back and gave me a glimpse of what is going on with my ED. I recently learned some details of my ED's life which is upsetting and unsettling to say the least. Based on this new information I learned, now I know for sure that if I had sent something, it would have been met with unthinkable drama and ugliness. God knew that and I believe why I had such a caution against sending something.
Today I am reminded that He has got this ... He is risen and He's got all this in his hands. I just need to keep laying it down and give Him all the praise....
Hope you all have a blessed Easter!
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Post by JeepGirl on Apr 16, 2017 21:13:29 GMT
As similar as situations can be, I also am aware how different they can be. Last week, it was my dd's birthday and granddaughter's (ES's). Although I am not on their FB pages, mine are open to public. I posted a picture combining a daughter and granddaughter and wished a Happy Birthday. My dd doesn't go on my FB (that I know of-lol) but I believe my grandson does. His name is always popping up to "friend". What I decided to do today, (gs's name came up again. He may check and see if I did anything for his dad). I posted a picture of a birthday cake and typed: "What a privilege to celebrate a birthday on Resurrection Day." Didn't mention "son".....just cake and what I wrote. I didn't want FB friends to comment or ask questions. I thought that was pretty general. It satisfied my need to do something as his mom and if my gs or his dad peek, they will know.
difficultime2, sorry about whatever you discovered but sometimes these things, as you said, help us to know it is not the right time and your instinct (or God) kept you quiet and constrained from doing anything. HE protects us, doesn't HE?
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Post by everloving11 on Apr 17, 2017 14:54:42 GMT
Sorry people - I 'froze' in time this Easter - it was two years ago today that we last saw out EDIL, and our EGD - for the last time. Everything was wonderful and perfect --- and over. Our grandchildren and teen staying with us all wonder about that time when we went to visit and spend Easter together --- and now nothing. We had a wonderful time with our children and grandchildren that showed up yesterday. But it took some emotional gymnastics to 'put aside' the good memories and subsequent bad taste in the mouth that yesterday reminded me of. But, all in all, it was a blessed time. So sorry that so many of us had similar struggles.
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