aimee
New Member
Posts: 4 
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Post by aimee on Mar 21, 2017 22:15:20 GMT
Hi!
It's been 62 days, 5 hours and 3 minutes since I have last since my daughter. I don't even know where to begin...except I miss her terribly and can't even begin to believe this has happened. I keep hoping I will wake up from this nightmare. Paige is a senior in high school but is 18 years old so we have no rights to try and find her. She has cut off contact with ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE in her life EXCEPT her boyfriend, of 5 months, and his family. We don't know where she is but they do and yet they refuse to speak with us. We are completely devastated.
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Post by byhisgracealone on Mar 21, 2017 22:52:44 GMT
Hi aimee. I'm so sorry that you haven't seen your daughter in two months. Please know that you are always welcome to express your hurt and confusion here, as we all have gone through, and are still going through, the pain of estrangement. Some of us have been walking this journey much longer than others, and we have passed through the early stages of shock, yet the hurt always stays with us, and we have one another to pray with, and give one another support.
Maybe it's possible that your dtr. is being confused by her boyfriend, and there could be hope that she will return if they break up? I will pray for you...
Please continue to share, as we all care about one another situations.
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Post by luke2231 on Mar 21, 2017 22:55:19 GMT
Aimee,
I am sorry. My heart breaks for you. And for us all. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, yet, the club continues to grow.
Is she still going to school? Is there possibly a kindhearted teacher that might be willing to find out and pass that info to you somehow? Or a family friend whose kids might have overheard something?
While I don't ascribe to everything Dr. Joshua Coleman says (Google him if you haven't), he says that those that estranged from everyone (like your daughter and my son) do so because they don't feel strong enough mentally to accept any alternate reality. In other words, if someone were to challenge her perception of you as "bad parents" because they know first-hand that you are good parents, then it will shatter her carefully constructed thought patterns.
That being said, she is still VERY young, and her brain isn't fully developed at all. You can be hopeful because she IS so young that maturity will bring clarity to her thoughts and memories.
Please know you are in a safe place. No judgement here, just prayers, compassion and understanding. God brought you here for a reason. Hugs...
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Post by lindajoan on Mar 22, 2017 1:25:40 GMT
Dear New Friend,
I am truly sorry for the pain you are going through. We are here to support you and pray for you. We care and we understand.
It sounds like your daughter met a controlling boyfriend who has a family that is doing wrong by keeping her from you. Our ED left home at age to be with a bf. In one year the bf and the family gave her up. Most of the time at this age relationships do not last as the boy is too immature.
We will pray for you at this time. We will pray for your daughter to return home. Our help is found in the Lord. He will not fail. Please keep us posted please. God bless you.
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Post by JeepGirl on Mar 22, 2017 3:11:36 GMT
Hi Aimee, You can be sure that each of us here feel your pain and wish we could make it better. The best thing we have here, is we each PRAY for one another. And each of us and, even those who don't write (but simply read), will also be praying for you and your daughter. We have seen God answer our prayers. Yes, there have been some reconciliations but, often, God gives us the strength we need to get through or His peace so we can get to sleep at night or His assurance that He is control. Whether it is a short term estrangement or a long term one, it doesn't change the depth of pain and hurt we feel.
Eighteen is still very young and many girls are still in that rebellious age and trying to find out who they are. I remember how my daughter was so influenced by her boyfriend at 17/18 and his family. I was her mom who loved her, didn't want to see her get hurt, tried to protect her and couldn't believe she turned on me and thought he and his family were the best. And you read lindajoan's reply above. Your daughter's youth is in your favor. My daughter didn't stay with her boyfriend after about a year either.
I pray you have some support right now. And most of all, pray and ask the Lord for help. He has shown me many times when to move, when to call or write and when to be still and quiet. You can come on here anytime to share, vent or whatever. And if you are really having a hard day, and need support, please come here. We truly understand.
Praying for God to sustain and direct you and to reach out and touch your daughter's heart and mind. Prayers and hugs.....
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Post by difficulttime2 on Mar 22, 2017 4:54:21 GMT
First, welcome and know that we will faithfully pray for you and your family.
Wow, 18 is so very young, ... I call what she did "finding a surrogate family." It's so much more exciting to be with people who don't know your real history, who have zero vested interest in her health or future. My estranged daughter found herself 2 or 3 'surrogates' until she finally completely estranged. These kids are just so young, and they don't get it. Unfortunately, the 'surrogate parents' don't usually 'get it' either.... So, I'm not surprised that you aren't getting anywhere with them.
Just know that you will survive this, come here often and pray pray pray! Keep giving it to Jesus... Hugs and warm welcome to you.
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