Counseling ED
Mar 13, 2017 20:36:05 GMT
Post by wonderbugg on Mar 13, 2017 20:36:05 GMT
I told you I'd let you know how it was going.
In some ways wonderful. I still can't believe we are still in therapy.
Now it's once a week.
In other ways I hope it isn't futile.
I still am not allowed to see my grandsons.
Not that I think they could remember me,
At any time I could say the wrong thing and it could all vanish.
But for now I'm very very grateful.
What's it been? 2 months?
On a Spiritual front, I have started a still fledgling ladie's prayer group.
God is using our study, an old book by the late Evelyn Christenson called "What Happens When Women Pray."
We are in the early stages of confession.
There is confession until God releases us to pray for the church.
E. Christenson says it took her group 6 weeks to get to the list.
When they finally got to the " list" God replaced it with spontaneous prayer.
A very different way of doing things than any of us are used to.
Why do I even mention this?
Because this study is revolutionizing the way I think.
What if I lose my grip on my daughter again?
What really matters?
Pray to know Christ.
Pray to fall so deeply in love with him that he becomes your main focus. Don't leave your First Love.
It really has been an extrodinary journey to let loose my grip of my prayer "list".
It's about Him
. Not a list.
So hard to do. So so hard.
Especially when our list is our last toehold to our family, our hopes, and our dreams.
Our Bible says he is an all consuming fire.
I see a "relaxing" from my daughter in therapy now that she realizes she is not the total objective of my heart.
It's hard to be the object of someone else's idolatry.
He is no longer just my help in times of trouble.
He is the main focus of my love.
I never had any peace when my daughter and grandsons were my obsessions.
Now I have peace.
And I can survive anything.
I can even sit quietly now and no longer feel the need to defend myself at therapy.
Whatever happens happens.
That is the peace which is beyond understanding that comes when you give him your list and you no longer care if you never have all your "whys" answered.
My "list" is no longer an idol.
Something I never realized could ever be an idol.
Gazing at my list brought turmoil.
Now its in His pocket.
Now I can see plainly to gaze into His eyes.
My list is no longer blocking my view.
In some ways wonderful. I still can't believe we are still in therapy.
Now it's once a week.
In other ways I hope it isn't futile.
I still am not allowed to see my grandsons.
Not that I think they could remember me,
At any time I could say the wrong thing and it could all vanish.
But for now I'm very very grateful.
What's it been? 2 months?
On a Spiritual front, I have started a still fledgling ladie's prayer group.
God is using our study, an old book by the late Evelyn Christenson called "What Happens When Women Pray."
We are in the early stages of confession.
There is confession until God releases us to pray for the church.
E. Christenson says it took her group 6 weeks to get to the list.
When they finally got to the " list" God replaced it with spontaneous prayer.
A very different way of doing things than any of us are used to.
Why do I even mention this?
Because this study is revolutionizing the way I think.
What if I lose my grip on my daughter again?
What really matters?
Pray to know Christ.
Pray to fall so deeply in love with him that he becomes your main focus. Don't leave your First Love.
It really has been an extrodinary journey to let loose my grip of my prayer "list".
It's about Him
. Not a list.
So hard to do. So so hard.
Especially when our list is our last toehold to our family, our hopes, and our dreams.
Our Bible says he is an all consuming fire.
I see a "relaxing" from my daughter in therapy now that she realizes she is not the total objective of my heart.
It's hard to be the object of someone else's idolatry.
He is no longer just my help in times of trouble.
He is the main focus of my love.
I never had any peace when my daughter and grandsons were my obsessions.
Now I have peace.
And I can survive anything.
I can even sit quietly now and no longer feel the need to defend myself at therapy.
Whatever happens happens.
That is the peace which is beyond understanding that comes when you give him your list and you no longer care if you never have all your "whys" answered.
My "list" is no longer an idol.
Something I never realized could ever be an idol.
Gazing at my list brought turmoil.
Now its in His pocket.
Now I can see plainly to gaze into His eyes.
My list is no longer blocking my view.
