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Post by difficulttime2 on Jul 13, 2016 4:31:28 GMT
So I wrote about my ED and the fact that I looked on her facebook and she had made some comments about her 'loving her family' and being 'crazy about Jesus.' Clearly she wasn't speaking of me, her father, her sibling, her grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins or extended family members.... And I thought being 'crazy' about Jesus you'd want to ... oh I don't know... well maybe start with the 10 commandments!!!!! Ugh ... heavy sigh....
You all were so sweet to reply and encourage me in my so sad post a few days ago.
I don't know why, but I am having such a struggle with this. Not sure why this seemingly small thing ... I can't put words to why it bothers me so much and I am just having so much trouble getting 'over' it.
Her self righteous attitude has just slapped me to the ground ... again, where I had kind of been able to let go before....
It is interesting what 'trigger's' us and how those 'waves' hit us just when we least expect it.
I know I need to get with the Lord and back in the 'zone' again... Just not steady on my feet quite yet and it's taking a bit more out of me these days for some reason.
Just wanted to share that with people who 'get it.'
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Post by JeepGirl on Jul 13, 2016 5:03:48 GMT
It's usually those things we say are "small" that bother us the most. Others don't understand our feelings, because certain things are just so personal and affect us so deeply and as a result, those old emotions surface again. Also, when you read or hear things that are not true, it just creates an anger (maybe a righteous anger?)within us and we are helpless to do anything. We have absolutely no control in our estrangements.
But, I have to cling to scriptures that tell me "...to take every thought captive..." or just lift the people I am thinking about up to the Lord and move forward. We know that the enemy wants to toy with us and our emotions. Times like this, you have our support and want to encourage you to keep looking UP! Tomorrow is a new day and praying you have a peaceful night.
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Post by difficulttime2 on Jul 13, 2016 23:43:55 GMT
Thanks so much, your kind words help more than you know. I do need to take every thought captive ... have to get back in the 'zone' again.. I keep taking the 'burden' on myself and forgetting that it's too heavy for me... Giving it back to Jesus to carry ... again... Thanks for your encouraging words ... today, I'm just taking it a minute at a time....
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2016 0:33:32 GMT
It does get easier. You will learn how to avoid issues that you know is going to cause you pain. As you depend more and more on God, the load will get lighter. In our weakness, he is the strongest. This is a spiritual battle and satan will attack where you are most vulnerable. If he succeeds, he will continually attack in the same area. If you learn to turn it over to God, satan will stop and move on. Good news, greater is he within me, then he who is in the world. Behind the scene, God is working it out in oyr behalf. In his time, everything will be allright. It is a hard journey of trusting and having faith that God is God and he can do anything but fail.
God Bless you and may God comfort you , lead and direct your way.
We all get it cause we are all walking the same pathway. Some have just gone a bit farther then others. That is why we all are here to support each other and willing to give advice on what we have learned.
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Post by lindajoan on Jul 14, 2016 1:01:10 GMT
I totally get it. Something that happens or that we may see or hear can really get us down. I have felt this way recently too. It is times like these I am so grateful that we can lean on the Lord. He feels our pain. Estrangement is hard. Please remember we care and pray for one another. God is at work even when we do not see it.
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Post by luke2231 on Jul 14, 2016 19:21:04 GMT
I'm sorry you're struggling. My ES blocked me on FB, and in a way, I think it's more of a blessing than a curse. FB bothers me anyway because so much of what people post isn't "real life," but the part of our life that looks good and shiny and happy. It may be a stretch here, but I wouldn't put too much value in what your daughter posts about loving her family. Sometimes people say (or post) things to convince themselves that their life is better than it is. All those "likes" can - in our own minds - validate the things we doubt.
But I understand what you mean about not knowing what will trigger you. I had a dear, dear friend die from cancer 8 years ago, and while I think of her so often, some days it's still just really hard. I'll see a picture that's similar to one that hung over her sofa and I'm a puddle of tears. Still. Anymore, I don't fight the tears or try to explain the tears to anyone, because I'm grieving and I should be allowed to grieve, no matter how long ago her death was. I don't see why grieving over a lost relationship with our children should be any different. So you just go ahead and struggle if you need to. We'll be here to listen, and after a time, you'll come out on the other side of that wave of grief...
Hugs and prayers for you difficulttime!!
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Post by byhisgracealone on Jul 14, 2016 21:46:37 GMT
I understand. For the longest time, I felt so hurt that my ED estranged from me, but has a relationship with her dad's wife, who wasn't around during the years he was seeing his mistress, and I cared for both children on my own. I used to feel betrayed, and it was painful for me to hear that she would visit them, and tell others that I never did anything for her.
Years have gone by now. I have a faithful, wonderful son, and The Lord has healed me of the bitterness I used to feel. God reminds me that I am His daughter, and He will never leave me. He will never leave any of us.
What our EC's post on social media is usually pretend. But, we know the truth....
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Post by difficulttime2 on Jul 14, 2016 21:51:33 GMT
thank you for all of you wise insight and wonderful replies ... it helps so much.
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