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Post by brokenmama on Jan 21, 2017 21:44:30 GMT
I received a call from estranged daughter that they are being investigated by CPS. Someone turned them in.....The story she told me probably contained both truth and lies....They almost removed the baby from their home, but with a lawyers help they did not. I have been asked to take the baby...and then received a truckload of insulting bullying put down texts that would knock your socks off, saying I am the last person on the planet they would give the child to...The fact is i am probably the ONLY person on the earth who would take her, because to take her is to deal with them. and they are twisted...........Sick does not begin to describe what i feel....I really do not know exactly what is going on....In a panic I went to ex husbands house. He mocked me and promptly shut the door in my face. I was going to beg for his help if i had to go get the baby....This man is an abusive bully and has never helped me and never will........I am being bullied by him, by my daughter and her husband......and in the middle is a sweet innocent baby...and i really have no idea if she will go into state custody........God please help me. I've had little sleep the past few days......
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Post by bettyshe on Jan 21, 2017 22:56:31 GMT
Oh Brokenmama this is a trady. I have no idea what to say but know THIS!!! I am praying to the Father for you and your grandbaby. Your ex sound like mind...no help there. A thousand hugs to you. Praying my hardest my friend. We have wise women here and Im sure words of wisedom and prayers will be yours.
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Post by bettyshe on Jan 21, 2017 22:58:13 GMT
Should be this is a tragedy.
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Post by brokenmama on Jan 22, 2017 2:15:09 GMT
Should be this is a tragedy. Thank you betty...God bless you |
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Post by lindajoan on Jan 22, 2017 3:28:59 GMT
This is a sad and difficult situation. As you said it is a combination of lies and truth. As much as you are the kind of person who would help if needed I think it sounds very complicated. Please be careful. Be kind to yourself and stay safe. It does not sound as if your ex would be helpful at all.
Praying for you. Please keep us posted.
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Post by luke2231 on Jan 22, 2017 14:29:00 GMT
Brokenmama, I'm sorry I didn't respond earlier; I saw this while I was out but I hate typing replies on my little itty bitty phone keyboard, plus I wanted to pray before I replied! I am so so sorry that your ED, through her actions, has put you in this situation. It sounds to me like, in a place of fear (being called by CPS), she reached out to you, and then again, in a more heightened state of fear (you being asked to take the baby), she lashed out at you.
No fair to put you in that position, so just... UGH!
From the limited amount of information you've given here, I see FEAR as the common thread in this situation. And as we all know, that means Satan is having his way right now. But God is still in charge and has the bigger story already written!
So my prayer for you - all of you - is that God's peace will enfold you. May you be given rest so that you have clarity of mind, and wisdom to say and speak His truth & love in all your conversations with whomever. May you have strength to do what is right and good for the baby, your daughter, and especially you. Sometimes we want to do what's right for the ones we love, and we think we have to "pick up their mess," but sometimes that only makes it harder for them to be responsible, and takes us away from what God's called us to do. May you be given complete and utter assurance that your choice to take care of the baby - or not - is His will for your life. May you not be fearful of whatever happens, because God is in charge and in control, and has this in His mighty hands.
Praying for you sweet friend - we may not be there to give you physical support, but know that we have your back on this one!
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Post by bettyshe on Jan 22, 2017 15:22:56 GMT
Good advice Luke, broken, we are praying God's wisdom for you in the mighty name of Jesus. Take care of yourself and lean on HIM. A big hug to you.
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Post by brokenmama on Jan 22, 2017 16:02:20 GMT
I cant tell you how calming and helpful your prayers and words were to me. The last few days have been hell. I tend to try to look at an entire nightmare problem from every angle (impossible to do because i really dont know the situation, other than what she told me).....I try to imagine it all and what will i do and etc etc etc...even though God says dont worry! dont be afraid..........I am calmer today, rested well last night and I dont know what will happen. Of course my concern is that beautiful and innocent baby. And...I know that even if this crisis passes, it will be followed by another and another....at least that has been her pattern. I am nothing until a crisis then I am called then i am mocked, cussed, ridiculed...........I am seriously considering changing my phone number at this time, but want to pray and wait a few days before i do.......My prayer is that my prodigal will come home, if not literally, then to the Lord. That my grandbaby will be safe and in a secure home where Jesus is taught and loved................. Thank you all SO much for your words, your prayers and your kindness.....
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Post by JeepGirl on Jan 22, 2017 17:05:06 GMT
Broken, I am a little confused.....did your ed call you re taking baby or did CPS? In NJ, DYFS, has all the information in their files re grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc. And, if a time comes when a child must be removed from the home, it is DYFS who places the child and moves forward with the arrangements. Their first contacts are normally the grands or aunt, etc. Foster home is normally a last resort. And the fact they said a lawyer got involved, it is a little unusual until the matter is heard. First concern is safety and welfare of the child, not keeping the child where they might be in harms way. Something just seems amiss in what you are being told.
If it was your ed who called you, and from what you wrote, it appears she has done this in the past (calls you and mocks you), then I would not get involved or speak to her. She is pulling you into her mess and then abusing you which is mean, sick and hateful. Of course, I don't know background or exactly what is going on but sounds like drugs to me. And remember, they are the best manipulators around.
I apologize for sounding harsh, but having been in social services for years and situations within my own family members, it sounds like a typical drug story. And I have seen family members (who are the grandparents) go thru "hell" as you say....emotionally and physically. This is all evil, definitely from the pit of hell, and I pray you allow God to protect you, your emotions, and guide you in truth and safety. If an agency contacts you, then you can make a decision based on their information. Otherwise, I would not answer calls from your ed. Pray, Pray, Pray. He will answer our prayers.
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Post by brokenmama on Jan 22, 2017 17:21:05 GMT
Broken, I am a little confused.....did your ed call you re taking baby or did CPS? In NJ, DYFS, has all the information in their files re grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc. And, if a time comes when a child must be removed from the home, it is DYFS who places the child and moves forward with the arrangements. Their first contacts are normally the grands or aunt, etc. Foster home is normally a last resort. And the fact they said a lawyer got involved, it is a little unusual until the matter is heard. First concern is safety and welfare of the child, not keeping the child where they might be in harms way. Something just seems amiss in what you are being told. If it was your ed who called you, and from what you wrote, it appears she has done this in the past (calls you and mocks you), then I would not get involved or speak to her. She is pulling you into her mess and then abusing you which is mean, sick and hateful. Of course, I don't know background or exactly what is going on but sounds like drugs to me. And remember, they are the best manipulators around. I apologize for sounding harsh, but having been in social services for years and situations within my own family members, it sounds like a typical drug story. And I have seen family members (who are the grandparents) go thru "hell" as you say....emotionally and physically. This is all evil, definitely from the pit of hell, and I pray you allow God to protect you, your emotions, and guide you in truth and safety. If an agency contacts you, then you can make a decision based on their information. Otherwise, I would not answer calls from your ed. Pray, Pray, Pray. He will answer our prayers. Jeepgirl thanks for responding.....what i was told....this has been going on for some time. CPS was coming by daily to check the baby. They tried to remove it by emergency order and then non emergency order, but the lawyer was able to get that "thrown out"....I know, it doesnt add up exactly. Now they are facing court and hope to get thrown out the demand for them to take parenting classes. She said they passed the drug test and thats one reason they did not remove the baby. But yes drugs have been in the picture before. Son in law has a long record of being in and out of jail, but has been working for several years and seemed stable in that respect......She also has a psychiatrists letter saying she is not a danger at the present time to herself or child , she had sought treatment for postpartum depression.....This is what she told me, not sure of the order in which all this nightmare occured.......Yes i agree it doesnt sound right. It went from a panicked phone call while i was at work (from her voice i thought my grand child had died) to incessant verbally abusive texts. They are simply horrible and this is a familiar pattern to her behavior....i know my daughter is sick, mentally, spiritually......Thanks for your input. Its hard to know what to believe because she is a very convincing liar and something has happened, I am just not sure what. I have zero help with any of this from family members. They want nothing to do with her and ex, her father is useless. |
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Post by JeepGirl on Jan 22, 2017 17:43:59 GMT
Broken, so CPS has not contacted you. This has all come from ed. You could contact CPS (they won't give you info-they can't); however, you can explain who you are, what you have been told by ed, and if you want to make yourself available to take custody of baby, if it comes to that point, you can give them your info. If you do that, then you can feel relieved that you made an attempt to protect grandbaby and it is in the hands of CPS.
If you continue to accept and read texts or any other communication from your ed, you know what to expect and it is not good. I pray you do not allow yourself to accept anymore abuse from anyone and that God gives you the strength you need to not read texts, answer phone, etc.
As I said in my reply above, I honestly don't want to sound harsh, but if you don't allow God to sustain you, things will remain the same. Ultimately, the decision is yours and I understand it is not easy. Praying for God to make Himself so evident to you and how you should proceed. Lots of love sent to you....
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Post by brokenmama on Jan 22, 2017 21:14:35 GMT
Jeepgirl thank you. You do not sound harsh. I know that i need to NOT accept any calls or texts. My phone wont block em but i do have a delete button.....I dont know whats in me that i continue this tired old pattern that beats me to the ground. Of course I had a better handle on it until the grandbaby was born...but even so, it is what must be done. I can not communicate with my daughter. Period. I worked a temp job at a CPS office once....I saw the things that go on. I remember thinking what a nightmare to be in the system....and my own family is in it. I know the social workers do their best overall, but its a terrible thing to be involved in.....Thank you again for your input and prayers. God bless!
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Post by everloving11 on Jan 22, 2017 23:50:49 GMT
What a heartbreak. The courts appointed us legal guardians of our oldest granddaughter for 5 years through social services, so I can understand in part. Lots of legal issues, monthly court hearings, controlled onsite social service visits with the parents, occasional house visits, fear of the drug-running Mexican mafia birth father kidnapping her --- it all worked out and now she is a happily married, successfully working college graduate. In a sense, we were protected by social services. There were many miracles of God's intervention and many life's lessons learning. I felt like Joseph in Pharaoh's court and let God work through all the agencies and authorities --- it was definitely a faith-building time. I guess what I'm suggesting is that I am praying God will clearly show you what to do --- and not to do. He cares for your precious granddaughter more than anyone else on earth. I am praying.
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Post by JeepGirl on Jan 23, 2017 0:11:47 GMT
Broken, I was a caseworker for NJ DYFS at one point. I understand what you are saying about our systems. There are many flaws but I have also seen many children protected. As we know, nothing is more powerful than our prayers. So that is what I am doing....praying for you, and for your grandchild's safety. Rest in God's covering.
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Post by brokenmama on Jan 23, 2017 1:07:32 GMT
Thank you all so much...may He cover our children and grandchildren with protection and grace. And may He give us guidance and peace...
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