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Post by bella51 on Jan 1, 2017 23:10:32 GMT
Just want to share that added stress from estranged children can and does cause heart problems. A couple weeks before Christmas I had to have a stent put in my heart. There is no doubt I waited way too long to acknowledge the non-relationship was harming me so much and I needed to cut the ties a long time ago. We do not see two adult children or families any longer. It caused me so much PTS and nightmares. Yearning and hoping for change is a waste of time IMO.....the Lord wants every Christian to live their lives to share and glorify about HIM. I believe we cannot do that when we put our EC on the throne instead of God. My surgery was a nightmare, the first dr walked out of the operating room and left me there...nobody in there knew what he was doing. I had woke up in the middle of it. But our heavenly Father sent me a very qualified dr to perform the procedure all over again 2 days later. I am still weak and in shock as to what happened and the hospital is investigating all of it. I have gone through the fire but God saved me ... PTL.
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Post by bettyshe on Jan 1, 2017 23:18:11 GMT
Amen Bella51, I agree we cannot let our EC destroy our health and our lives. We must reclaim our lives and live the best we can with what we have left. Otherwise to me not doing so is like giving out EC the power to put us in a prison with out walls. Let us pray and fight to live and love life with what God has given us.
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Post by bella51 on Jan 1, 2017 23:27:01 GMT
Thank you so much Betty. I was pretty distraught in the hospital and talked with a chaplain. He really gave me insight because he has seen it before too. He said the reason adult children abuse their parents is because they feel "safe" to do it. I asked what he meant and he explained that they were used to us always being there no matter what so felt safe to take all their problems to us and we became the reason for them. It is interesting to look this up and read more about "safe" emotional behavior.
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Post by lindajoan on Jan 1, 2017 23:53:55 GMT
First, I want to welcome you here Bella. I am thankful you are here with us.
You are absolutely right that estrangement and the stress it brings takes a great toll on our bodies and our health. There is so little we can do to change theways of our EC. We have all tried because we care. Recently, our ED was causing us a lot of stress with more evil words and accusations that we heard about. DS and I could have engaged in battle but we chose to give the battle to the Lord. He is our defense. It makes us all so discouraged and exhausted physically and mentally that it does affect our health. We must take our hands off and put our burdens in His hands.
God bless you in the New Year with improved health. Thank you for your wisdom to us.
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Post by luke2231 on Jan 2, 2017 14:32:07 GMT
Welcome here Bella51. I hope you're feeling better and now that - whew! - the extra stress of the holidays has come and gone. I'm sorry that your estrangement has caused such trauma in your body. Sending prayers your way for a healing of your heart and soul...
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Post by bella51 on Jan 2, 2017 20:43:20 GMT
Thanks to all for the welcome...it means so much. Just IMO it seems from the many EP I have spoken to in my life that the number one issue is the 'total shock' and trying to deal with it. People do not even treat strangers the way we have all been treated. We ironically are blessed to have one ED 700 miles away and a son 1200 mikes away from us. But after not seeing either of them for 3 yrs we realize they have "hardened hearts and souls". Recently I read a post that said "WHEN GOD KEEPS SLAMMING A DOOR SHUT QUIT TRYING TO OPEN IT". This is what happens when we are in HIS will. He always wants what is best for me and for me to become moldable for that I have to stay away from the poison EC are so determined to keep trying to give me.
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Post by lindajoan on Jan 2, 2017 22:32:13 GMT
You have a lot of wisdom to share.
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Post by snowdrop1 on Jan 3, 2017 11:30:52 GMT
Hi Bella,I do hope and pray you are on the road to recovery.Spiritually you are so strong,I thought like you I had accepted my 50yr old daughters cruel behaviour when she left me, to live with father[found on internet!] who had left me with her as a baby so many years ago.With my faith,some family and friends[on old daily strength] I somehow overcame the shock and horror and found peace and acceptance.3 years on and despite sending christmas and birthday cards,no contact, but I guess I just wanted to keep door open.This year will be my last as I dont believe it serves any purpose as her heart has hardened.Thank God mine hasnt.Im still who I am and have love and kindness deep inside,but like you Its taken its toll on my health.Your quote means so much to me,and that door is now closed.Sadly my oldest son is now afflicted with this weird Hard Hearted disease, though I think It may be due to Alchohol [despite him holding down a good well paying Job.]His temper and cruel abusive words are beyond belief]He now has told me [and younger brother] in no uncertain terms to not contact him. We most certainly wont as we dont deserve this abuse.I need prayers to give me strength please and I think we all need prayers to change our ECs hearts if that is what the Lord desires.Maybe its a sorting process ie Wheat from the chaff but I feel something is going on that only the lord knows.
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Post by everloving11 on Jan 3, 2017 13:49:06 GMT
Oh Bella, my heart goes out to you - in fact, if you need some heart, you'll find it here! I cannot imagine the horrific nightmare of your surgery and abandonment there on the table. Graciously, God never left you alone. Let us know what happened...sounds so strange. We are praying for you.
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Post by bettyshe on Jan 3, 2017 14:25:41 GMT
Snowdrop , I just lifted you and all of us here who has been hurt so badly and continue to hurt from what has been done to us. The only thing I can say to the long lingering pains I have is "FOR THIS I HAVE JESUS " and let's cast our cares upon Him. God will give us the strength but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
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Post by lindajoan on Jan 3, 2017 17:03:47 GMT
Amen Ladies! We can only go through estrangement or any part of life with His strength.
Saying a New Year prayer for each of you.
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Post by bella479 on Jan 23, 2017 6:38:27 GMT
It really was a strange experience. The hospital is investigating this incident I had with the first doctor. I really find the closer I get to the Lord and the more I share HIS story the more persecution I get. But I believe if we are going to be strong for the Lord we have to go through the fire. Believe me there are times that my tears and weakness take over....it is at this time I realize my desperate need for Jesus. I was thinking today....that I did the best I knew to raise those two children (mistakes and all) God knows we are not perfect but sees our heart and intent....always our intent. NOW I am going to release them to make their own decisions based on how much their desire is to serve God or themselves. Blessings to each of you.
poodle....you are standing strong. That is a good thing! I did that when I walked away from our ED abuse a few yrs ago. Remember the Holy Spirit lives within you and you are taking good care of how that is treated. ED will not speak to us now and it hurts but we hav
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Post by lindajoan on Jan 23, 2017 12:12:03 GMT
We really appreciate the wisdom you shared about health and how allowing abusive behavior does affect us. I pray you will continue to heal. Please keep in touch with us when you can. We need the Lord's peace and we need one another. God bless you.
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