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Post by brokenmama on Dec 27, 2016 1:08:20 GMT
Christmas Day....no thoughts of seeing my estranged child... a knock on my door and there she stands, with grandchild in her arms. I dont know what to say or think. I rarely see her and didnt know she was in town and she stayed for a grand total of 30 minutes. She is an abused and controlled woman no doubt, a history of drug addiction , both her and her husband who is a sorry thug. They stay at his parents (nice people, just got a rotten situation like me) .........I prayed. What does one even do with this? I see her 30 minutes a year .........i hold my beautiful grand child for 30 minutes ........am i supposed to be filled with joy? Hooray the door is still open (please, like i havent been there before).....Say oh sweet see you next year when she is a year old.......She acts like nothing is wrong or that I just saw her a few days ago. i simply loved on the baby and held her, beautiful little thing....i couldnt even cry when they left, i dont feel much .....Its a bit like having salt poured in a gaping wound, but it has happened so often you dont notice it anymore......I didnt get the feeling she was being vindictive.....I really dont know what this is or how i should react to it. I am choosing to say nothing at this point. I can barely pray over this anymore although i do pray...its simply...HELP GOD. help......
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Post by lindajoan on Dec 27, 2016 3:16:02 GMT
O Brokenmama. I am so glad your ED came by with the baby. Do they live far away? It is so hard to figure out the behavior of the EC. I want to say that your ED wanted you to see your gc. In her own way she must miss you too.
I really do hope she contacts you again soon. Please keep us posted. The Lord
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Post by 1hurtmom on Dec 27, 2016 3:24:20 GMT
brokenmamaI am so sorry...... it probably feels like torture because its bitter sweet seeing them but only once a year for a few minutes. I am sure you want a relationship with your GC. The agony I am again sooooooo very sorry.
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Post by JeepGirl on Dec 27, 2016 3:32:06 GMT
After reading your post, broken, I was hoping that when I scrolled down, someone would have replied and I could see what they had to say. Because, I am at a total loss for words regarding your situation. I even read it three times and prayed for some wisdom to impart to you. Nothing. I saw the positive....ed came to your home; as you said, the door is still open; she lives with "nice people"; you got to actually hold your beautiful granddaughter; and your daughter didn't argue with you, you didn't think she was being vindictive; "acts like nothing is wrong."
But then, you said your daughter is abused, has a history of drug addiction, her husband is a thug, you probably won't see her for another year, you couldn't even cry when she left (similar to post traumatic stress syndrome) and it appears you may have even been in a state of shock. Brokenmama, I tried to think of how I might have reacted in such an emotional, whirlwind situation and I probably would have reacted just like you.... wouldn't know what to do or say.
However, I believe your cry to GOD for HELP is all that was needed. That is what HE wants....for us to turn to Him when we find ourselves in such a place as you were. And you are not alone in your prayers, you have sisters here who will cry out to God on your behalf (I just did) and ask God to give you His peace and calm. Maybe that crazy short visit was actually a gift to you on Christmas Day and hope for your future. Our lives are in His hands, Broken, and we have to trust.... even when we don't understand what is happening. Jesus understands....
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Post by JeepGirl on Dec 27, 2016 3:34:34 GMT
PS When I finished my reply and posted, I saw that lindajoan and 1hurtmom already responded. Maybe I wasn't supposed to see them until after I wrote. God is in control of everything, isn't He?
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Post by byhisgracealone on Dec 27, 2016 3:51:24 GMT
Broken, I'm so sorry about such a brief visit with your ED and GC, but it must have felt wonderful for those 30 minutes to hold your grandchild in your arms. I have such fond memories of the last the time I held my GC. I haven't been able to hold them for years now, but I can still feel it as though it were yesterday.
I pray you're daughter's heart softens, and she brings your grandchild around again soon. Blessings...
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Post by brokenmama on Dec 27, 2016 4:03:08 GMT
O Brokenmama. I am so glad your ED came by with the baby. Do they live far away? It is so hard to figure out the behavior of the EC. I want to say that your ED wanted you to see your gc. In her own way she must miss you too. I really do hope she contacts you again soon. Please keep us posted. The Lord |
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Post by brokenmama on Dec 27, 2016 4:04:01 GMT
O Brokenmama. I am so glad your ED came by with the baby. Do they live far away? It is so hard to figure out the behavior of the EC. I want to say that your ED wanted you to see your gc. In her own way she must miss you too. I really do hope she contacts you again soon. Please keep us posted. The Lord lindajoan yes they live 3 hours away. Son in laws family lives here. Thank you so much for your kind words |
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Post by brokenmama on Dec 27, 2016 4:04:35 GMT
Broken, I'm so sorry about such a brief visit with your ED and GC, but it must have felt wonderful for those 30 minutes to hold your grandchild in your arms. I have such fond memories of the last the time I held my GC. I haven't been able to hold them for years now, but I can still feel it as though it were yesterday. I pray you're daughter's heart softens, and she brings your grandchild around again soon. Blessings... Thank you for your prayers and i pray so too....i pray for all of us |
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Post by brokenmama on Dec 27, 2016 4:07:19 GMT
After reading your post, broken, I was hoping that when I scrolled down, someone would have replied and I could see what they had to say. Because, I am at a total loss for words regarding your situation. I even read it three times and prayed for some wisdom to impart to you. Nothing. I saw the positive....ed came to your home; as you said, the door is still open; she lives with "nice people"; you got to actually hold your beautiful granddaughter; and your daughter didn't argue with you, you didn't think she was being vindictive; "acts like nothing is wrong." But then, you said your daughter is abused, has a history of drug addiction, her husband is a thug, you probably won't see her for another year, you couldn't even cry when she left (similar to post traumatic stress syndrome) and it appears you may have even been in a state of shock. Brokenmama, I tried to think of how I might have reacted in such an emotional, whirlwind situation and I probably would have reacted just like you.... wouldn't know what to do or say. However, I believe your cry to GOD for HELP is all that was needed. That is what HE wants....for us to turn to Him when we find ourselves in such a place as you were. And you are not alone in your prayers, you have sisters here who will cry out to God on your behalf (I just did) and ask God to give you His peace and calm. Maybe that crazy short visit was actually a gift to you on Christmas Day and hope for your future. Our lives are in His hands, Broken, and we have to trust.... even when we don't understand what is happening. Jesus understands.... I have no words to tell you how much that means to me, that you pray for me and that you care.....i know God was here, because i didnt fall apart or go to pieces or feel destroyed as i would have in the past His peace was here.....i was of course still baffled. Its bizarre . Thank you again , with all my heart |
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Post by brokenmama on Dec 27, 2016 4:08:11 GMT
brokenmama I am so sorry...... it probably feels like torture because its bitter sweet seeing them but only once a year for a few minutes. I am sure you want a relationship with your GC. The agony I am again sooooooo very sorry. Thank you and may God bless you this night and give us all peace, in His name... |
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Post by everloving11 on Dec 27, 2016 5:23:03 GMT
Brokenmama, it is so hard to say what the right response should be. I'd be delighted to hold my grandchild for a few minutes - and the thought that I can never hold him as a baby really bugs me! But this yo-yo treatment you are getting is maddening, to be sure. I'll be praying for you, brokenmama.
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Post by luke2231 on Dec 27, 2016 17:59:09 GMT
Brokenmama,
I really have no words of wisdom as to how you should handle the situation. I wish I did, but alas, no...
But I do think that God was giving you a little gift for Christmas day, like JeepGirl said. I know that we rarely find our answers in the confusion caused by the enemy, and while it may appear that's what's going on... God still brought your grandbaby to you to hold and cherish, even if just for 30 short minutes. It's almost as if he was saying, "Here's this precious baby to remind you of MY precious baby, Jesus, who was and is and will be, the hope of the world!"
Maybe that's a lot to read into your daughter knocking on the door, but I think in the middle of long stretches in the desert, God feeds us small portions of hope to get us through. Kind of like manna for the Israelites... (I'll find and take hope anywhere I can ;-) !)
Again, I don't know how to handle your daughter, but I think I would choose to take it at face value as the shaky beginning of a relationship with your grandchild.
Please keep us posted as to what you do, and how you handle everything. I know I learn so much from you all! Praying for you to hear that still small voice telling you what His will is in all this...
xoxo
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Post by poodlegirl61 on Dec 28, 2016 2:30:30 GMT
I have been trying to reply to this, but had terrible computer problems. Praying this "goes".... I want to tell you that almost the exact same thing happened to me 19 months ago. My ES came on Memorial Day weekend 19 months ago....just suddenly appeared at my door with no warning, no phone call, no nothing. He did not bring his wife or sons (at that time he only had 2). I was absolutely dumbfounded and frantically called his daddy to come home immediately (he had just gone to the grocery story). We were in total shock. I kept staring at him, and I never said one word about the estrangement, for fear of spooking him away. He stayed about an hour, and it was very calm and loving. I wept, and held on to him, and told him I loved him. He said he loved us too. And then he was gone..... It was almost like some sort of ethereal dream. I let two days go by and then I texted him how wonderful the visit was, and how much it meant, and how much we loved him. Nothing in response. Nothing at all. And then a few months later more hate filled emails and texts, and finally the NO MORE CONTACT rule was enforced. I had no clue what on earth I had done wrong, and why he came that day in May if he hated us so. Well guess what? I STILL DONT KNOW, and you know what else? I DONT CARE! Because I kept praying, and praying, and praying, and praying (you get the idea) and I had everyone I could think of praying....and ten days ago he came to see us again, only this time he DID bring his boys. And this time, there has been contact after his visit. He has called, texted, face booked us, sent us a Christmas card, you name it, we got it. He has said we can see the boys anytime we want, and in fact are planning a trip in February. Do I know why he had this change? God did it. Thats all it can possibly be. So please, please, please, do not give up. Satan has tried to stop me so many times from sending this but you need to know. Please keep praying!
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Post by everloving11 on Dec 28, 2016 2:50:28 GMT
Whew, Poodlegirl ~ what a ride! Breath in, breath out...I'll keep praying February will come and get you to see him and his boys!
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