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Post by JeepGirl on Nov 27, 2019 16:05:43 GMT
I want to preface this post by saying I am truly grateful and thankful to the Lord for all He has done in my life and I am simply sharing some thoughts.
I have experienced a strange realization as this holiday season has begun. As you know, a breakthrough has occurred with my es after many years of estrangement. Fragile but, we are speaking. Also, we are spending Thanksgiving with my daughter and her family. So shouldn't I be experiencing immense happiness and none of the former sadness? Strangely, every once in a while, to my surprise, I get a flashback of that former sadness. Then, quickly, I remind myself all is okay with my family and those old feelings dissipate.
Maybe I am thinking too deeply about my estrangement but I am wondering if those sad emotions and that cloud which was ever present, was part of me for so long that they became imbedded in me, maybe like PTSD? Does this sound crazy? Maybe it is, but I always felt that estrangement effects us to the inner depths of our being and the loss and grief we feel during our estrangements is beyond description. And I think we will all agree that estrangement definitely effects our health and well-being. So what do we do about it all? Continue to know that God is with us from the beginning of our estrangements until the end and through reconciliation. "Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus..." Philippians 1:6
Prayers for each of you to be blessed this Thanksgiving. Love, Joanna "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 |
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Post by luke2231 on Nov 28, 2019 15:09:58 GMT
JeepGirl,
I would say that you're normal and hardly crazy! Estrangement is a soul-crushing trauma as much as other traumas that can cause PTSD. If you're feeling all the feels as the holiday approaches, you're allowed to feel them! Despite your reliance and trust in God, your heart has been restless and hungry for a relationship with your son for too many years; no doubt, that changes a person.
Science says that when you experience a life-altering trauma that your brain creates new neural pathways to deal with that damage. It will take a while of your new normal for either new pathways to "overcome" the ones formed during estrangement or the older ones from before estrangement to regrow. While I'm hardly a licensed psychotherapist or psychologist, one of my favorite classes in college was physiology of the brain. In that class, I learned that our bodies react to stress and shock so that we can still function, still live. As a Christian, I couldn't help but think that this is how God cares for us when He knows we're physically and mentally unable to function otherwise!
What you say about reminding yourself that things are okay is good advice whether we're still in estrangement or not! I've said it before, but I'll say it again - this has taught me to try to pay attention to all the things I can still be grateful for. It's taught me - still teaching me! - that He is my rock and in Him will I trust! I wouldn't wish estrangement on anyone, but if there's a silver lining to it, it's those things. God cares for me and I see it all around me. Even in my deepest grief and pain, He is walking through it with me.
Thanking God for each of you and praying for your hearts to be full of joy today. Praying for healing and reconciliation to come to all of our families. 😍
God Bless!
Luke
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Post by lollipop777 on Dec 7, 2019 3:09:46 GMT
Hi Jeep , I am so sorry for the delay and for not saying Happy Thanksgiving to all. I have been in the hospital since before Thanksgiving.
I am blessed to hear that you had a good family time on Thanksgiving I also wanted to say that I can relate to your thoughts. After all, being estranged Had become your normal setting on the emotional scale. It is not easy for us to bounce all over the map with our thoughts and emotions. Once we get used to feeling a certain Way it defines who we are. I know of course you are grateful but that it would still seem strange and as if something else that you were so used to is missing. Time will continue to heal and help
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