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Post by brokenmama on Dec 21, 2016 2:23:58 GMT
Thank you! to Jeepgirl who helped me find this forum (i could never find the Christian parents forum after the old one went down)......I am totally estranged from my daughter who has a new baby that I saw at birth. There was contact on and off and after the baby was born, a few stormy contacts and ...nothing. I sent her the most heartfelt email that I have ever written. This has been going on for over 10 years and I told her i simply could not continue in this .....i apologized (for what i dont know) and.......nothing........My other child, my son....i have a very shaky relationship with....i do get to see my grandchild, but i am nothing to my son but his babysitter...I will take it! i get to see my grandchild!!! i will be a doormat for that. may be the wrong approach........but its what i'm doing ......so its Christmas....and I am not hearing one single word from either child....the totally estranged and the semi estranged..........I know i will see grandchild because i have been asked to babysit Christmas Eve (they work that day)....for the first time in years i am not crawling and begging, calling anyone, hoping for a crumb of their time. I want to celebrate the birth of my Savior......i want to see my grandchild (i will only see 1 of them)............and as you know its all so hard. I am sitting back and watching and doing nothing else....Ball in their court.........
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Post by JeepGirl on Dec 21, 2016 4:45:26 GMT
Glad you found us brokenmama. I can relate so much to things you said. Sometimes I feel that my daughter "uses" me to help with kids but, like you, I am okay with it, because I love being with my grands and I am grateful for being in their lives. As we so often say, if people haven't experienced estrangement, they really don't understand. I am estranged from my son and his family and if I could go back in time, I would have changed so many things, in particular, I would be so much quieter and less opinionated. I would simply enjoy and love my grands and accept my son and dil and the differences we have. I cannot do anything about that situation right now, but I can learn from it and be a better mom and grandmom with my daughter and her family. She is not disrespectful to me and I "think before I speak" so much more than I did in the past.
And, truthfully, I am praying more about God working in me and changing me, as opposed to praying for others to be changed. As a result, I find myself more peaceful around my daughter and controlling my responses and making sure my responses are the responses God would want, not a result of my feelings and emotions. And, HE has blessed me more than I could ever have imagined as a result of my seeking His direction. My prayer is that some day I will have the opportunity to be in my son's life again and be the Godly woman God expects me to be.
Again, glad you found us and a great big "WELCOME". |
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Post by lindajoan on Dec 21, 2016 5:50:12 GMT
We are blessed you have found us. We had left a forwarding post on the former site. We are thankful God gave us this new place.
Thank you Jeepgirl. So appreciative that you were able to help brokenmama.
We surely need one another.
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Post by byhisgracealone on Dec 21, 2016 22:42:28 GMT
Welcome home brokenmama. So glad you found us again.  |
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Post by brokenmama on Dec 21, 2016 23:33:14 GMT
Thank you Jeepgirl, lindajoan, and byhisgracealone! I was driving home today and there was such a beautiful sunset......God's world is so beautiful. I am learning.....to trust God, not try to fix anyone , set healthy boundaries if behavior is abusive....and enjoy my grandson that I do see.......and as Christians we DO have the hope that something better is up ahead......Blessings to you all
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Post by lindajoan on Dec 22, 2016 0:11:56 GMT
O so true our new friend.
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Post by bettyshe on Dec 22, 2016 2:31:42 GMT
Broke mama, so happy that you have found us! Welcome...like you JeepGirl helped me find this wonderful site. I only wish that it (our site) was easier to find on the Web. I know that there are many others out there that need us. Is there a way that we can make it easier to find us on a web search?
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Post by lindajoan on Dec 22, 2016 2:52:14 GMT
That is a good idea. I am not aware of how to handle that. Any ideas?
The only thing we were able to do was to leave a message on the sites we were leaving but they probably left them up only temporarily. I also emailed those who had given me their private emails? Any ideas?
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Post by JeepGirl on Dec 22, 2016 3:27:16 GMT
I was able to get on DS the other day and saw some new people who posted from a month ago to 3 months ago. I replied to them and gave them our new address. So sad over there. There will be a post from a new person and then one from someone from 3 years ago. There are no administrators and I don't think anyone is checking in on groups or what is happening. What on earth did DS do?
lindajoan, if someone goes online and types "estrangement groups" I believe ours comes up. You may want to check and see what happens. If we are not listd then that would be a place to start. I could also write to Dr. Coleman and ask if he would mention our few sites here. I don't think he is a Believer so I certainly want to include PEACE who is here with us and who were instrumental in helping us get set up. I could also try the National Alienated Grandparents group and see if they will mention us. If we could get permission from our church homes, maybe we can list Christian Parents as a support group for alienated parents/grandparents. I believe my church will be fine with that.
We can do a little PR but it appears God is the one who is really in control here and that is such a good thing. He will bring who He thinks should be here. He has blessed this site so far and I believe He will continue to bless us as long as our goals are aligned with His
Thank you, lindajoan for all you have done to keep us up and running. I believe we are all grateful to you for your hard work in keeping Christian Parents as a vital estrangement site.
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Post by lindajoan on Dec 22, 2016 3:51:36 GMT
We are so thankful for this place and the wonderful people here. I was unable to locate our group as a listed website. Did anyone else find us? I do miss our original place but the way they changed it was not user friendly for us. A special lady from the other group helped set us up here. We are so appreciative to her.
We pray God will bring other dear mothers who will be supported and helped by being with us. Any thoughts and ideas are welcome. This is our group under God. Thank you dear friends.
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Post by everloving11 on Dec 22, 2016 16:10:02 GMT
I agree - God guided you here, brokenmama. Each of us has varying levels of estrangement at work in our lives and all of it is painful. I would love to be able to be "used" but ours is a total estrangement. There is some blessing in that for we don't have to play the emotional yo-yo game. Am praying for you.
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Post by everloving11 on Dec 22, 2016 16:10:42 GMT
Am also praying for all those from the other site who may still be dangling - God is a God of miracles and He can bring them back to us somehow.
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Post by poodlegirl61 on Dec 26, 2016 19:48:32 GMT
Yes, there is one member from the old site in particular who I am concerned about. I cannot remember what her call name was, but she was the one who wasn't actually estranged per se, but lived in the same home with her son and his wife. I believe they lived in the basement, if I remember correctly. Anyway, they were cruel to her, and she had horrible health problems. Several of us encouraged her to try to leave, but because of money issues and other reasons, she was forced to stay in that cruel environment. I don't think she has found her way to our site. I worry about her. I think she was For Love of Mom? Does that ring any bells?
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Post by brokenmama on Dec 26, 2016 21:11:33 GMT
Thank you all so much.....Christmas had its up and downs, but i was more peaceful about it than i have been in years. This is God at work!! and I thank Him.........I could not find this forum by typing in estranged parents or anything like that...it did not pop up for me. Not sure why...but at any rate glad to be here........May our New Year be bright with joy!
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Post by lindajoan on Dec 26, 2016 22:49:03 GMT
How did you find the forum?
Yes I remember the person who was living with her son and his wife (or girlfriend). She did not follow us here. We did leave posts at each site we left and the request was given to give us their private emails to contact. I miss her and others. I am thankful the rest of us arrived here.
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