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Post by mommamelof3 on Jun 13, 2021 20:43:04 GMT
I am going through a divorce after 11 years of abuse. Emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental. My soon to be previous husband also abused my children during the marriage. We went to church but behind closed doors there were secrets and struggles. He forced me to take medications and put me in and out of coping centers throughout the marriage, making me out to be the problem. My 3 boys ages 21,16,and 14 now refuse to talk to me. Its been 9 months now. Im trying to regain custody of my 11 year old daughter. She wants to come home to me. Im trying to financially afford the lawyer to get custody. My heart us breaking because of my sons and lack of communication. My 14 yrold said he never wants to talk to me and he'll never forgive me. Im in a new relationship and finding it hard to move on and find happiness again.
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Post by luke2231 on Aug 9, 2021 12:55:24 GMT
I am so sorry. The only postive I can find in this is that your sons are still quite young; maturity and life experiences can alter their perspectives. Many churches offer counseling services and if I were you, I would definitely avail yourself to that, and if you can get your non-adult kids in as well, that might be super helpful. It sounds like you and your kids need some solid footing here - it's a lot to handle emotionally, all that you've been through! Sending you prayers. I'm so sorry no one has replied sooner. There are no notifications coming in for any new postings nor replies. I'll try to check in more often, but keep coming back!
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Post by everloving11 on Aug 10, 2021 19:09:50 GMT
I agree with Luke2231 ~ please hang in there - we are praying for you. We certainly understand, in part, what yuo are going through. Let me tell you, there IS hope!!! After 5 years of no contact and disparaging things said by my son to my daughter, I thought there were no chances for reconciliation. But I was wrong. God is in the miracle-working business.
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cyndi
New Member
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Post by cyndi on Jan 21, 2022 7:38:56 GMT
Wow. I never thought I would find someone who went through this too. Our situations are so similar. My ex husband did the same thing to me and now my three adult children have cut me off completely but maintain a relationship with him. I have written letters over and over but all I get is a request to be left alone. There seems to be no hope but I continue to fight for reconciliation. I don't want them to think I would EVER give up on them as they have me. It helps to know I am not alone. I trust that God is watching over them and has a plan for our good. At times it's hard but I march forward because I don't know what else to do.
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Post by luke2231 on Jan 21, 2022 16:01:20 GMT
Cyndi,
Although I didn't go through parental alienation by an ex-spouse, my estranged son did request that I don't contact him. After several attempts were met with no reply, I finally stopped writing, texting, calling. Instead, I keep a journal of letters written to him, and a file of Christmas/birthday cards for him. I've not given up, I've just given him space, but kept a record of my hopes and dreams for him so that one day he'll have tangible proof.
You're smart to think about moving forward. It IS hard, but I think that being resilient, even from a distance, is still teaching your kids an important lesson.
You are a GOOD mom. A bad mom wouldn't care. And parental alienation is a real thing. Some of the same methods of manipulation that cults use are used by ex-spouses to turn kids against the people that truly care for them, and not themselves. Keep holding on to that.
Prayers and hugs...
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