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Post by JeepGirl on May 1, 2020 1:47:13 GMT
I could not help but start this thread. We are living in a time this country has never experienced. If some of you are reading and not replying, maybe this could be the time you may want to share, whether about the virus or just your estrangement. I spoke to someone today who had no idea about estrangement sites and she would have been so comforted and encouraged if she had found a place like this.
I recently reconciled with my son and family after 10 years of estrangement. During this past year, they were starting to visit more frequently and we were in the process of renewing our relationship when COVID-19 hit. Because of being estranged for so many years and everything still so fragile, I became anxious and thought that all the progress we made could come to a halt and may even revert backwards. It didn't. However, I said it before and I believe that the result of estrangement can leave us with something like PTSD. The hurt and shock we experience is so deep. When reconciliation begins, it is more difficult than we imagined it would be. It is like a divorce and then a remarriage. Can you really trust that person again? Will you let your heart be open to getting hurt again?
As painful as estrangement is, if we have open minds and hearts and use the days, weeks, months or years of our estrangements as a time to grow closer to God, He will do a good work in us and will provide you with the strength and wisdom you will need when that special day comes.
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Post by hopeinhim on May 21, 2020 0:22:43 GMT
Hi I am new to this forum. I am amazed that this has so little activity. WE are all hurting...have been hurting...or the hurt doesn't hurt anymore. I wanted to find a Christian support group that is interactive...and not on social media. NOTHING is sacred on those platforms. Can anyone tell me how we could possibly get a support group live so that many of us can actually share and get support like a support group in a live session in person. I know I can't be the only parent of estranged adult children/family that is struggling. Anyway, I could use online group that is live. Any comments appreciated.
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Post by luke2231 on May 21, 2020 1:03:34 GMT
Hi hopeinhim,
Sometimes this forum is very active and sometimes it’s not. Over the past couple of years, several of our longtime members have reconciled with their EK’s (🙌🏻🙌🏻) at least partially. Some of those members still check in from time to time, like JeepGirl, but most don’t. And to be honest, I don’t always get notifications that something had been posted. I wasn’t notified of the original post - I just saw yours just now.
Anyway, I can’t speak for anyone else, but this COVID thing... it’s been harder and easier both. I reached out via email to our estranged son of 4 years and have heard nothing. He lives overseas, I think, and we have no way to know if he’s alive and healthy. If he didn’t reply because he didn’t want to, well, as much as I trust God and hope in Him, it was reinforcement to me that I have no control over the situation and have to live my life as best as I can without our son in it. I have to trust that God knows my heartache and will redeem it somehow, even if he’s ill or worse. I haven’t been here to share any of that because I feel like that’s the answer (for now) that God’s given me and it’s not productive to come here and share.... nothing. Maybe others here have had different experiences, but it seems that unless it’s a dire situation or wonderfully happy one, we just keep our heads down and plow through our every days.
As far as “meeting,” I suppose we could figure out a Zoom call, but part of the helpfulness of these forums is the anonymity. I’m not opposed, but not everyone may feel the same.
I hope I’m not coming across as disinterested and uncaring. That couldn’t be further from the truth! The best way to get discussion going is to share what’s on your heart. Looking forward to getting to know you better, and praying for God’s peace and wisdom to comfort you. Praying that all of us in this horrible situation will feel it too.
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Post by everloving11 on May 21, 2020 15:30:46 GMT
In several ways, our estrangement from our son trained us for COVID19 Social Distancing. Even though our son reached out to us through the pipeline (his wife) and we have been having 3-hour long talks on the phone (he lives several states away), this reconciliation process is slow and sometimes I feel like I'm walking on egg shells. But I am thankful for what we have after 4 years of silence. That being said, we have another kind of on-going estrangement going on that has been inconceivable as well. One of of adult grandsons turned himself in over a year ago for sexual abuse (exposure and inappropriate touching for 15 years) concerning his two half-sisters and a niece (our granddaughter) --- this one supposedly at out house. It has split our family apart at the seams, some because of legal issues, others because of hurt and hate. So, we used to have these big get-togethers once a month with the 21 relatives who live near here. No longer --- Thanksgiving entailed 4 separate events, ditto on Christmas, etc. This too was preparation for COVID19 Social Distancing. I have learned over the decades to look for the blessings, even in impossible situations.
As far as live sessions, I am skittish. Zoom is no longer secure. The bottom line is that I'd be very concerned if my son found this site and figured out who I was ---- it would undo years of prayers.
Every time I get notified that there has been activity here, I jump to this site. But, like Luke 2231 said, we don't always get notified. I am a full-time Christian secondary school teacher and these past two months I have worked harder than the previous 41 years I have taught. Distance Learning has kept me busy 6-10 hours a day 7 days a week. Yesterday was out last day BUT I'm also in charge of the summer school as well as testing new students and we haven't a clue what that is looking like. Bottom line -- it is good to be busy. I, like the rest of you, have problems you are forced to deal with every day. My husband just finished 4 weeks of daily radiation and I am dealing with a debilitating cataract that cannot be operated on for 6 months (praise God, it has only affected one eye so far - if both eyes go, I cannot teach.)
What do I do for spiritual/emotional refreshment? There's onlive live church and the Bible study fellowship I lead. There's God's Word. I get outside and garden; nothing like playing in the dirt to feel clean and alive. Reading a good book. Just sitting outside in the dark, enjoying the sounds of the wind wafting through the trees, watching the stars, listening to the birds, etc. --- enjoy8ing the "Be still and know that I am God."
There's music--- Don't you just love "Waymaker"? If you haven't heard it, please do that today.
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Post by tricia on May 24, 2020 1:27:54 GMT
Hello
Like you all i am estranged from my adult children for about 7 years now.
i believe as hard and as painful as it might be there comes a time when the only thing we can to do is to let go and let God do what only he can do.
Looking to connect with others in similar situation
By the comments i read there doesnt seem to be a lot of activity on this site.
i have been a christian since 2003
my faith in God has brought me through so much and i thank him.
if anyone want to connect.
My email is tricia797797@gmail.com
i live in the west midlands UK
Take Care.
Blessings
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