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Post by JeepGirl on Jan 11, 2020 15:59:35 GMT
I remember discussing this question several years ago on this site. One administrator, in fact, moved to another state and found it so much easier. She shared about making new friends, people not knowing about her estrangement and how it helped ease thoughts of being estranged. My husband and I tossed the idea of moving around many times. My son and family live 15 minutes down the road and most of my destinations would take me past his community. That meant it was even harder to push the estrangement and memories to the back of mind. We were indecisive as to whether or not to move for many years.
One friend, who also lived close to her es, decided to sell their home and move; however, shortly thereafter, they moved back home. Upon their return, she received a call from her es "wanting to become a family again." After hearing that, I decided moving away could possibly ruin any chance of reconciliation.
Three years ago, we decided to sell our home and thought, again, about moving to another state. Our house just wouldn't sell. It was only three months ago that we finally had a buyer. Shortly afterwards, my es and I began talking at one of my grandson's football games. Now, I believe our house didn't sell because of God's timing. We kept praying and saying we trusted in Him for any reconciliation but, like many of us, still wanted to have control.
I don't think there is any right answer to the question of moving or staying close to ec. Admittedly, for me, living so close brought a lot of pain and just kept estrangement in the forefront while others found having a distance between them helped. I say that about there not 'being any right answer' because if we believe God is in control, He can bring families together no matter how close or how far they live from one another. And how incredible will those testimonies be?
Any thoughts?
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Post by renate9 on Jan 11, 2020 18:06:21 GMT
My ED lives 1816.4 miles from me. My Esister lives a mile from me. My Estranged niece lives within walking distance from me. My Esister said that if I saw her in a store that I was not to
acknowledge her. I said gladly. I still like the song about Sinking Sand. I never see the local estrangers. This is a small town. They go to the big city to shop.
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Post by luke2231 on Jan 12, 2020 12:47:16 GMT
Well, I’m hardly in the position of wondering what would happen if I bumped into my ES.... As far as I know, he’s still living overseas. I have one other child living on the other side of the world, and a third about to head to Europe in the fall. Although I taught my kids to love travel and adventure, I’m not sure I would’ve chosen to be so far from all of them. However, it’s helped me learn to respect boundaries, keep my mouth shut and let them live their own lives. I miss both that are gone, ES and non ES, but having the distance has shown me that
A. I can live a happy life without my kids near B. I have learned to focus on God as a source of happiness rather than my kids C. With the non ES one, in many respects, our relationship is stronger because the distance causes him to reach out more.
As to the timing and selling of your house, I think you answered your own question... ”I say that about there not 'being any right answer' because if we believe God is in control, He can bring families together no matter how close or how far they live from one another.“ God will fulfill his purpose however, wherever and whenever! 😉😍
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Post by butterflyday on Jan 12, 2020 14:42:40 GMT
Good topic, thank you. I also agree that God works near or far. He also sells our home 🏡 n His perfect timing as we found out in the year. Although it does not seem this way He is never early or late when we are praying for His perfect will. Our ED moved out of state a few years after estrangement. The distance seemed easier for me. I fact, it was only after moving that she would text occasionally. We were more on her mind and all she had lost due to the distance.
I believe there is no right or wrong to moving from an ES. It s a personal choice. God is still the prayer answering God!
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