I am so glad to see so many of you responding to this post. I hope you all had a blessed Christmas. I agree so much, JeepGirl. This Christian site is much needed. I also saw many worldly estrangement sites which approach estrangement without the perspective of faith. The love eV and support I found here have been very important to me.
It is so good to see a post. I check our group site each morning and it has been silent since Mother’s Day Thank you Renate for being here. Can you share how you’ve been? We may be small in number but we still care and pray. God bless you.
I'm here... I was out of town for a few weeks and have been down with the stomach bug - UGH! But I'm here...
Renate, I'm sorry about your ED and your sister... I still sometimes think that this can't be happening... While I was foggy from the stomach flu, I had a dream that the estrangement had been a dream. Then, of course, I woke up and remembered it was real. Some days I still can't comprehend the once-loving relationship I had with our son keeps getting further away. When he disconnected, I thought that it would only last a few months, and now it's years. I still think of him every day. I still miss him every day. But I know my Redeemer has a plan and will somehow redeem what's been lost. How, I don't know. When, I don't know. Yet I stand on His promise and goodness that He will.
I know this for me... and for you. Each of you. God has you in the palm of His hand.
Hi Luke, It is so good to hear from you and Renate today. I have a hard time believing our ED left home several years ago in such a terrible way. She texts occasionally. Her life at age 28 has been a rough journey for her. She made all wrong choices.
Please keep in touch. I will pray for you my friends.
How are you? I feel like such a bad friend, I've not checked in here too often lately. Nor replied to some of you regarding how you're doing. Life for me is same old same old. Missing my ES but I've learned to "get along." God is faithful and always with me and my ever present help. Sending love and wishes for more good days than not to all of you... xoxo
My life has been like a badly written country western song sing May 10th when one of my daughters called me and began with "Are you sitting down, Mom?" One of our grown twin grandsons had turned himself into the police for molesting his sister and 4 nieces (two of whom are our own grandchildren). We hadn't a clue - this has been going on for 9 years; even his identical twin brother didn't know. BTW, it was touching the girls in inappropriate places and exposing himself.
The wheels of justice sometimes grind very slowly --- he's been out on his own recognizance but had to turn himself in again Friday; his trial is this Tuesday (on his 25th birthday).
This has split our otherwise close family into three segments (not including our ES and his family). I regrettably found out a grandmother's love is not strong enough to hold a family all together. One third of the split is the mother of the two granddaughters who were molested (even though they can't remember) ~ supposedly it happened at our house; so dad won't let his girls be in the presence of the perpetrator OR his other two brothers and brother-in-law. His sister, brother-in-law, and other brother won't have anything to do with their brother (to remain neutral, so to speak); the BNL left to live in another state because he has lost his closest friends (brothers-in-law) and he hates all the drama. So our huge, noisy crazy family gatherings are a thing of the past.
Oh, this all came out just before Mother's Day, so I was emotionally paralyzed. I love all of my family so much. I cannot wrap my head around what this grandson has done. He was known as the good twin. He has such a tender, sensitive soul. No excuse for what he has done. Part of me is thankful God stopped all this before it escalated into worse activity.
So, teaching started back up for me this past week as well --- and I have some new duties. My husband's car was in the shop for over a week, so he had to use my wheels --- it's fixed now. The water heater went out last Tuesday, so no warm water, no baths, but lots of wet boxes with important books, etc. Now the frig is on the fritz. Each hiccup costs buckets of money. BUT I have put it all into perspective: most people in this world don't even have one car, too many don't even have fresh drinking water available, nor food to store even overnight.
A somewhat funny, in a wry way, came through last month as well. Same daughter called and asked again, "Are you sitting down, Mom?" Turns out my recently retired brother who moved to the Philippines to be with his 28-year old girlfriend (whose pictures I have seen in a bikini) is actually in a relationship with a lady-boy (bottom half has all the plumbing; top half has had a breast implant). I just shook my head and laughed.
So, if your child asks you, "Are you sitting down, Mom?" just smile and ask, "What is it this time?"
You asked where we've all been. I've been waiting for this song to wind down so I could catch my breath. God has given me incredible peace amidst this whole storm and I've learned more than I ever wanted to know, but needed to be taught. Yes, I certainly could use your prayers...there seems a few more verses need to play out.
Hi Everloving, I am so thankful to hear from you. You have certainly been through many heartaches. We hear you my friend and we are here to support and pray for you.
You shared with us but there is one thing I am not clear about. If it is too personal please ignore. I have know of your grandson’s situation with other people. I’m not sure why he turned himself into authorities? I must ask if the accusations are true? I have known men falsely accused of similar crimes. What happens now?
Next time you answer the phone just tell the caller you are not sitting down. 😇
His 12-year old niece shared with her 18 year-old sister last May that their uncle had been doing things to her that made her feel uncomfortable. The older sister told her that he had been doing the same things to her. They told their parents and the parents (his father and step-mother) told him if he didn't turn himself in, they would press charges. He readily admitted he had done this not only to his two nieces but his younger half-sister plus another niece (who is our granddaughter). In fact, the younger two cannot remember any inappropriate touching...more like tickling. The Felony 3 charges are the more serious because they were on-going for 9 years. Actually, now that the courts have gotten involved and he has been re-arrested, things are out of our control. The judge says that the maximum sentence is 12 years for the one charge unless he fails in any of his 12 restrictions. I woke up this morning pondering how long he has to live under these restrictions and, if he is not incarcerated, how could he ever get married and have children. The courts deal with this over and over so I have to trust God working in Pharaoh's court. I think he is going to plead guilty so the girls don't have to go to court. The caller who asked if I was sitting down is the mother (our daughter) of the granddaughter involved in this. This daughter is coincidentally also the only family member our ES talks with. ES is fighting mad --- he said if his nephew had done this to his daughter, there would be nothing left of him to go to trail. I understand the anger but question the hazard of doing something that would remove him from his daughter's care...she is autistic. Oh what a tangled web we weave....family life can get really complicated, can't it? Thanks for asking for clarification, Linda.
I really do appreciate it. I can more fully understand the sad situation I pray the girls will find counsel and healing. I do believe your nephew if he chooses to do so could have his life turned around by God. With God ALL things are possible.
Here checking in. I haven't been here for quite some time. But I do read what others have written, most days. My daughter and sister are still estranged. I lean on the Word of God all the time. I am trusting God to fix this. Even it it has to be in the hereafter. The old time gospel songs give me a lot of peace. I am so sorry all of the have the need to be here. I hope you can find peace and comfort from the Word. Some of you get texts and other messages from your EC. I get nothing. The only way I know my ED is alive is that I check the page where she works. They have all their employees pictures there. She looks so much like my dearly departed loving mother. It makes me cry.