Post by JeepGirl on Sept 15, 2018 6:48:18 GMT
I didn't want to "continue" in Wonderbugg's thread or mine. I think what she wrote was so important and deserved a brand new post. And she actually thought it "might not help a soul." Very humble lady!
Wonderbugg so eloquently described a common thread that most of us will experience when we reunite with our estranged families and, that is, things have changed. For all the years I have been estranged from my es and family, I didn't really give serious thought to how it would be if reconciliation actually occurred. I thought it would probably be a little awkward at first but, in time, we would pick up where we left off. I was so wrong. As Wonderbugg said, things have changed, grandchildren have grown older and all the fun things we did, "homemade cookies, swim parties, sleepovers and bedtime stories are all over." And she is so right, "It's no longer 'cool' to hang out all day with...grammy". My granddaughter was 12 and, now, almost 17.
This was also my granddaughter's first visit to my home, which was unfamiliar to her and a home which held no memories of the past. I saw the awkwardness she felt when she walked thru the door and it broke my heart. I made every effort to make her feel comfortable and, eventually, she did become more relaxed and having my other granddaughter over (dd's) helped. Since that visit, she and I have been texting. I have been so sensitive and have made every effort to not come on too strong or for her to feel pressured in any way. This morning was the first time she initiated a text and she even said she is looking forward to visiting me again.
As most of you know, my es and dil allowed my gd to visit but I don't envision my es or gs coming over for a very long time. And, truthfully, I am so okay with that. The emotions involved with just reuniting with my granddaughter have been so overwhelming and consuming (in a good way) but, I don't know if I could handle much more right now. There is far more in reconciliation than I ever dreamed. Never, ever thought I would feel like this, just want one person at a time. I also think the more years we are estranged, the more difficult it is to reunite. Please understand that there are no words to describe my joy and how grateful I am to the Lord, I just always imagined reconciliation to simply be a continuation of where we left off and it is far from that.
It truly is a new beginning and I am asking the Lord to help me say and do the right thing and to go forward with few expectations and more acceptance than I have ever had.
In addition to our bond as Christian Sisters (and Brothers), we always have that comfort of knowing we "understand" what one another is going through. That is why I wanted to reiterate what Wonderbugg shared and my similar experience. It is another part of our estrangement journey and having an awareness that years have passed and things have changed, including our roles, will help us be more comfortable in moving forward and recognizing it is a new chapter in our lives. I believe we may even be better parents and grandparents than when we started out, at least, wiser (of course, only with God's presence and guidance). To be continued... Prayers and love, J