What Books are You Reading?
Mar 27, 2018 20:59:24 GMT
Post by luke2231 on Mar 27, 2018 20:59:24 GMT
I've been dealing with some other family issues lately, not really related to estrangement, but then again, maybe family issues and behavior patterns contributed to the estrangement?!? I mean, at this point, I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater in trying to understand the estrangement...
Anyway, in that vein, I've read and am reading a couple books that have given me some measure of peace about it. Neither are specific to estrangement, rather, they're both about prodigals. The first is called Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now? by Phil Waldrep. This is really more about wayward children who are still in touch with their parents, but there's a lot of sage advice in it anyway. For instance...
"Blaming yourself only brings guilt. Guilt, in turn, allows your prodigal to control the relationship. You become powerless to help. Blaming others only brings bitterness. Bitterness, then, causes you to die from within and allows anger to fill your heart where joy once strived."
" The Holy Spirit's conviction gives us courage to restore the relationships of those we have hurt. ... You must refuse to interpret your prodigal's behavior as an indictment of you. Others may believe that lie, but God doesn't. You undoubtedly did the best you knew how to do."
"Satan wants to dredge up ever past sin to keep us locked in guilt. God, however, never uses the past to make us feel guilty."
I don't know about you, but the NOT KNOWING the what's or why's has kept me locked in guilt! However, this isn't a book that's all warm and fuzzy and says that it's all our kids' fault either. The author recommends we also ask the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom about our part in hurting our kids, then ask for forgiveness, first from Him, and then from our kids. And then, move on.
God has really been teaching me about His grace and mercy and the story of the prodigal exemplifies to me how to behave toward our son while he's in a far off land living apart from us and his Heavenly Father.
The 2nd book I've been reading is called Prayers for Prodigals: 90 Days of Prayer for Your Child by James Banks. It's been over 2 years since we last spoke with our son (To me it was unimaginable at the outset that it could ever last this long, and in some ways, it still is, but I've at least got my emotions a little more leveled), and I've come to the realization that:
a. I can't change him, what he thinks about me, or what he's doing but I can change what I think about him, how I think about me and change what I'm doing. And...
b. I can't DO anything right now except pray.
I don't know that there will be a giant breakthrough because of my prayers, because God's timing isn't restricted to 90 days, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something anyway. And it reminds me of how infinitely merciful and loving God is. How much He cares for me and our son, and how much He wants me to trust that He will do what He has promised.
Anyway, I just thought I'd share some of how God is at work in my life and what He's teaching me through this estrangement. But I'd love to hear how God is working in your lives too, and what books have challenged the way you're looking at things...
Prayers for each of you walking through this struggle. God knows and He is with you.
Anyway, in that vein, I've read and am reading a couple books that have given me some measure of peace about it. Neither are specific to estrangement, rather, they're both about prodigals. The first is called Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now? by Phil Waldrep. This is really more about wayward children who are still in touch with their parents, but there's a lot of sage advice in it anyway. For instance...
"Blaming yourself only brings guilt. Guilt, in turn, allows your prodigal to control the relationship. You become powerless to help. Blaming others only brings bitterness. Bitterness, then, causes you to die from within and allows anger to fill your heart where joy once strived."
" The Holy Spirit's conviction gives us courage to restore the relationships of those we have hurt. ... You must refuse to interpret your prodigal's behavior as an indictment of you. Others may believe that lie, but God doesn't. You undoubtedly did the best you knew how to do."
"Satan wants to dredge up ever past sin to keep us locked in guilt. God, however, never uses the past to make us feel guilty."
I don't know about you, but the NOT KNOWING the what's or why's has kept me locked in guilt! However, this isn't a book that's all warm and fuzzy and says that it's all our kids' fault either. The author recommends we also ask the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom about our part in hurting our kids, then ask for forgiveness, first from Him, and then from our kids. And then, move on.
God has really been teaching me about His grace and mercy and the story of the prodigal exemplifies to me how to behave toward our son while he's in a far off land living apart from us and his Heavenly Father.
The 2nd book I've been reading is called Prayers for Prodigals: 90 Days of Prayer for Your Child by James Banks. It's been over 2 years since we last spoke with our son (To me it was unimaginable at the outset that it could ever last this long, and in some ways, it still is, but I've at least got my emotions a little more leveled), and I've come to the realization that:
a. I can't change him, what he thinks about me, or what he's doing but I can change what I think about him, how I think about me and change what I'm doing. And...
b. I can't DO anything right now except pray.
I don't know that there will be a giant breakthrough because of my prayers, because God's timing isn't restricted to 90 days, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something anyway. And it reminds me of how infinitely merciful and loving God is. How much He cares for me and our son, and how much He wants me to trust that He will do what He has promised.
Anyway, I just thought I'd share some of how God is at work in my life and what He's teaching me through this estrangement. But I'd love to hear how God is working in your lives too, and what books have challenged the way you're looking at things...
Prayers for each of you walking through this struggle. God knows and He is with you.
