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Post by JeepGirl on Dec 2, 2017 17:25:07 GMT
Hi Everyone,
A few members who no longer post here have told me that they feel our site is not confidential enough. Anyone who finds Christian Parents can see our posts. Although, the only way someone can post/comment/reply is by becoming a member.
I was aware of that fact; however, it never really concerned me until I accidently pressed something on my cell and was on the former PEACE site (which is here on ProBoards). I saw that their home page had changed and no one who is not a member cannot read their posts. They do provide a sample post so interested parties would know what they are about. After seeing their page I, personally, felt I would feel more comfortable sharing here if ours was more confidential. In all fairness, I believe that feature may not have been available when we were set up.
I have been in contact with our Administrator, lindajoan, and she is fine with our site becoming more confidential but neither of us our real computer savvy. I may be SLIGHTLY, just SLIGHTLY, more than her. lol As I was trying to find out how we can fix this issue, I came across the person from PEACE who originally helped us. (igaveupnowwhat) However, I could not get onto PEACE because they changed their name recently and I couldn't remember it and strangely, I couldn't find it on my cell again.
QUESTIONS:
1. Please let us know if you would prefer only members be able to read our posts. Also, those of you who are members here but do not post/reply often, would you be more inclined to reply here if it were more confidential?
2. Are any of you on the former PEACE site and can help with reaching out to igaveupwhatnow?
3. Can anyone find a way to change the way we are set up without going through igaveupwhatnow?
4. Any general topics for discussion you would like to see on our threads?
Looking forward to everyone's input. Also, feel free to pm me if you prefer. Since lindajoan is extremely busy at this time, I offered to work on this and, for the time being, will forward all comments I receive by pm to her. Just didn't want to inundate her with questions we may be able to resolve. Thank you all (in advance)
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Post by renate9 on Dec 2, 2017 20:05:40 GMT
I haven't posted for awhile because it is not confidential enough for me. My ED is very computer savvy. She might see my postings and then yell at me some more. She told me who I could be friends with on Facebook and what I could post on FB. So more confidential would be better for me.
Topics to discuss for me would be estrangement issues.
I have no idea how to go about this.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2017 1:33:50 GMT
Good Evening Everyone. It's been a long while since I have logged in. Privacy is a great concern of mine on this site also. Hoping the issue will be resolved soon. God Bless you all.
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Post by JeepGirl on Dec 3, 2017 17:27:37 GMT
Hi everyone, have an update. I was contacted by other estrangement site and they will help us get set up to become private. Will keep you posted.
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Post by byhisgracealone on Dec 5, 2017 22:31:14 GMT
Thankyou for your help Jeepgirl. I wonder though, if we would still be a good witness to those parents who are struggling, but too shy or nervous to post? Maybe advise they read is helpful to them? I feel as long as I'm careful not to mention details or names, I feel comfortable with the site.
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Post by JeepGirl on Dec 5, 2017 23:45:57 GMT
Thank you for your thoughts byhisgracealone. Most of the correspondence received so far indicates a desire for a more secure site. I also got pm's that were not written here seeking a more secure site. In fact, one member stated she had the same concerns about privacy for some time.
I may not have made it clear in my post. Being more secure does not mean people cannot join our site and simply read, as they have been doing, and will not have to post or reply. What will change, is that no one will be able to read our posts without becoming a member.
When I saw New Peace Place's site, I was very impressed. It gives much detail as to what they are about, as well as sample posts/replies. Most of us are careful not to mention names when we post; however, details are often important in sharing one's story. Of course, we need to use common sense when we write but we should have the freedom to share and know that what we write is private and for members only and not the general public or, possibly, our estranged family to see.
I, personally, think being a good witness is having a place where estranged parents can come and feel safe and secure. There are many books I have read on estrangement but they cannot compare to being able to communicate with other estranged parents on a site such as ours. Originally, I felt like you byhisgrace, but after realizing how easy it is for anyone to come on here and read everything we write has become unsettling to me. I, for one, share details and often seek advice. Unless we become more private, I will hesitate to share as I have been. Again, I would suggest you look at the New Peace Place. It gives the observer a very clear picture of what their estrangement site is all about and, as I said, there is even a sample post. In my opinion, anyone interested will get a much clearer picture and more details from the New Peace Place than from ours. They truly did an excellent job in their design.
There is, however,the possibility that our site will remain as is. We are running into some obstacles in trying to become more secure. The admin from New Peace Place has been working diligently to help us, but we may not be able to make the change. Trusting in God to direct our steps. If He wants us to be more secure, I pray a transition would happen smoothly. If He thinks we should remain just as we are, I pray He makes that so evident. I don't want to go against the will of God.
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Post by byhisgracealone on Dec 6, 2017 21:46:37 GMT
Thankyou Jeepgirl. I will continue to support the site either way, but completely understand and appreciate how many may feel the need for more security. Thankyou for what you're doing to help....
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Post by difficulttime2 on Dec 7, 2017 3:14:14 GMT
Personally, I don't think it matters much either way. Nothing is 'secure' online IMO. I'm a member over at the new Peace site as well ... I think it's fine either way.
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Post by luke2231 on Dec 7, 2017 17:25:59 GMT
How do I find the New Peace sign to see how it operates? Thanks for all you're doing too!
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Post by JeepGirl on Dec 7, 2017 23:09:18 GMT
Luke, and anyone who would like to check out the former peaceful parents site, here is what you type in your browser: peacefulparents.proboards.com/Estranged Parents Speak Up It seems to have become very difficult to change our format to become similar to theirs. Peace's member has put in a good deal of her time in trying to help us. I, personally, am very appreciative for all she has done and understand if we cannot do it. I thought we could at least make an attempt. It is good that some of you are okay with our site the way it is. It may just have to remain this way. I have had the flu this week and just have no energy right now to work on this. And, like most of you, I have so much to do to get ready for Christmas and I am way behind because of being sick this week. I believe if we have to 'strive', it may not be God's will. So, let's just keep posting/sharing as we have done. Peace and prayers to each of you.
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Post by difficulttime2 on Dec 8, 2017 6:32:52 GMT
I hope you feel better Jeepgirl ... I am on the tail end of the flu myself ... so I feel for ya. Feel better soon! Your efforts are appreciated here but be sure to take the time to take care of yourself!
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Post by lindajoan on Dec 8, 2017 18:14:24 GMT
I hope you are feeling better Jeep girl and each one who is sick. Sending up a prayer.
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Post by hifromigaveup on Dec 10, 2017 13:19:58 GMT
Hi, everyone: I am working with JeepGirl on improving security on this site. Right now I am awaiting a response from ProBoards Support (I am having difficulty logging in as an admin, and only an admin can make structural changes here).
In the meantime, pleasepleasePLEASE don't worry! It's true that nothing on the Internet can be 100% safe, but in my opinion you are pretty safe here. Generally the people who cause trouble on the 'net are looking for some kind of financial gain, and nearly all of that is directed toward the large corporate sites. They aren't going to bother with "little" sites like ours, which is nonpolitical and where no money is transacted.
The only real worry that we have -- and it's a small one -- is if our estrangers somehow discover us here. I say it's a small danger because all of us are anonymous here, and it would be difficult for any estranged adult child to discover our identities. Even if they did, none of what is posted here is harmful to them in any way. So, any estranged adult child who does manage to look at the threads and posts would see only what they already know, a group of estranged parents seeking God's help as they try to live a good life without their beloved children. Maybe that's something they SHOULD see!!!
Anyway, as soon as I can get in here behind the scenes I will get to work in updating your site with some of the things we have done on ours. In the meantime, if you see ANYTHING in a post, a thread, or a new member that worries you, send it to JeepGirl in a private message so she can forward it to me. I can work on things over on our site while I wait for Support to get me through the back door here ;-)
PLEASE don't worry!!!
<<hugs>>
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Post by hifromigaveup on Dec 10, 2017 13:20:27 GMT
PS Private messages are safer than safe, no one else can see them.
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Post by byhisgracealone on Dec 10, 2017 22:17:18 GMT
Thankyou so much for your help Igaveupnowwhat, it's very nice of you to help, and your advise is very helpful.
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