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Post by brokenmama on Nov 20, 2017 1:31:31 GMT
My ex, who pretty much estranged my children from me , is a very sick man. I was asked to take him to an emergency doctors appointment and he was sent immediately for emergency surgery. He is in very poor health. This man would not pour water on me if i was on fire and we had no contact....until he found himself backed into a corner. In fact when I attempted to contact him when I needed emergency room care for severe pain some time back, he ignored me.....I was able to get a friend to help....I was desperate!...Now HE is desperate.......I can see myself easily getting drawn into a hole of despair caring for the man.....he is as needy as a child at this point (before that he was simply a very mean and cold man, but he would always use the "poor me" routine to his children)...........He has more surgeries, more appointments. I dont know what to do!....What does a Christian do? There is NO ONE to take the man to his surgeries and neither of our children are going to. Not my estranged daughter who does not live here or my son with whom i have a shaky relationship. He is drowning in marriage, work, childcare and family problems of his own......They have always seen me as one to be used and then tossed aside.......This came out of the blue and I have no idea on earth how to handle it. Both my kids have contacted me, even the estranged one and said Dad is sick! He is in bad shape. Well I KNOW that.......ideas? thoughts?......there is no money for hired help with this......Blessings all......God have mercy on us.
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Post by renate9 on Nov 20, 2017 1:36:41 GMT
He's your ex for a reason. In my opinion I don't think you should help him one bit. It has nothing to do with Christian duty. You have to take care of yourself. If you had died who would take care of him. He made his bed let him figure it
out, not you.
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Post by JeepGirl on Nov 20, 2017 2:14:02 GMT
Brokenmama, You know, my friend, that decision is totally yours. Praying for God's leading and also for you to use wisdom on how much you can do, if you decide to help him. Also, if you do help him, praying that he will see Jesus in you. It may be his last chance for Salvation.
My ex alienated my son from me and continues to do whatever he can to discredit me to this very day. He is remarried so I don't understand it. He truly hates me and has so much anger toward me, just like my es. I have seen him at my grandson's football games recently and he looks so old and his face is greyish. Very strange. He has had some serious medical issues but he has a wife to take of him and they travel a lot and just returned from Europe. But in spite of his travels, beautiful home and money, what I see in his face these days is the result of all the evil he has done and the bitterness he carries. He is not a Believer but, rather, a mocker, which he has also passed down to my es. I think my ex also hates me because of who I am in Christ (not that he realizes that).
Broken, you know the scriptures just as I do, so need to quote any. But, when God speaks to you and gives you His counsel, He will also give you (and each of us) the strength to do His will. Prayers.....
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Post by lindajoan on Nov 20, 2017 19:05:45 GMT
I would certainly pray before moving forward with this. We will all pray for God to lead you in the right decision.
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Post by luke2231 on Nov 20, 2017 19:37:27 GMT
brokenmama,
What a dilemma! There's a lot to weigh here, but I agree with JeepGirl that only you can make this decision. I'm praying right now for God to speak unmistakably into your heart His will in the situation. To have perfect peace no matter what you decide. God is in this, right now, working FOR you, not against you. I believe this completely.
Something just occurred to me - although Jesus cared for His children, in many (most?) cases, He didn't just swoop in and take charge. Whenever possible, He told people to do for themselves. "Get off your mat and walk" etc..., I know your ex can't do some things for himself, but then again, neither could those people in the Bible!
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Post by brokenmama on Nov 20, 2017 21:09:35 GMT
Thank you to all who replied...I realize I got myself into this by being unable to say NO to an abusive person (although it is different since its a very serious illness situation).....I will pray and think on it. Thank you all for your input
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Post by brokenmama on Nov 21, 2017 1:13:07 GMT
Frankly I am kidding myself. In a moment of weakness i got sucked into an old pattern of fixing things for everyone. My son is under a great deal of stress. I am worried about my grandchildren. My ex is very manipulative and sweetly helpless like an old man when it benefits him. I stepped in to fix it for everyone...but myself. None of them really give two cents about me, its just what they can get out of me. I know the answer..
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Post by luke2231 on Nov 21, 2017 2:25:48 GMT
Frankly I am kidding myself. In a moment of weakness i got sucked into an old pattern of fixing things for everyone. My son is under a great deal of stress. I am worried about my grandchildren. My ex is very manipulative and sweetly helpless like an old man when it benefits him. I stepped in to fix it for everyone...but myself. None of them really give two cents about me, its just what they can get out of me. I know the answer.. I'm glad you have your answer. Frankly, I think your life will be so much better without the stress and drama. I'm glad too, that you've realized that it's important to take care of yourself instead of always putting others first. Of course, it doesn't mean that he won't still pester you and make your life miserable for a while, but stand strong! You CAN do all things through Him who strengthens you! Hugs |
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Post by 1hurtmom on Nov 23, 2017 20:16:30 GMT
Tell him to call uber...
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Post by brokenmama on Nov 24, 2017 21:19:54 GMT
thanks to all who replied to this........i got a giggle out of the "call uber" hurtmom........and yes he will still pester me. He knows me well......I have the power to say no. Its not to be mean, its to prevent myself from being abused
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Post by JeepGirl on Nov 25, 2017 22:32:24 GMT
Broken, Your last sentence says it all. Praying for God's strength to keep you firm in your decision.
GOTTA love 1hurtmom..."...call Uber." Now, I bet ex wouldn't expect that from you. Ha,ha,ha
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