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Post by brokenmama on Aug 7, 2017 1:06:15 GMT
Both my adult children as estranged. I see one of them regularly as I babysit several times a week, way more than I can physically do without pain. I love those grands more than my own life. If I dont keep them, they send them to a relative who is a loud dirty woman with 4 children of her own (really she doesnt keep herself or her home or her children clean). She frightens my young grandson......... My adult son is rude and sarcastic. Hardly a word comes out of his mouth that isnt a bit obnoxious. Its unbearable. If I speak up he witholds the grandchildren from me. (and send them to relative not fit to watch a child or a stray cat even).......My other estranged one i saw recently after months of silence (i rarely see her) I saw the grandchild i dont even know. She is so beautiful. Why did i see her? Because she is fighting with her husband. The baby had a serious infection and will need more treatment for that. She is depressed and feeling desperate. So she comes to the mother she didnt bother to call on Mothers Day. My children and grandchildren were under my roof together for the first time in years....I cant really say what I feel, i dont know what i feel. I love them all......I endure sarcasm, rude and obnoxious behavior to see my grandchildren. Its so mentally draining and physically demanding on me I feel like i will collapse. When that bright smiling little face runs to me i think its all worth it......All this is obviously taking a toll on me. Even my horrible ex is concerned. Yes, we talked The one who estranged my children from me. ...........I have zero idea what to do at this point. Take care of myself, yes. How? How can i endure the thought of my 4 yr old grandchild being in that dirty place? how can they do that? They seem pretty good parents otherwise.......This is a rambling post, i am sorry....... am exhausted and begging God for help. For guidance . For something.
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Post by JeepGirl on Aug 7, 2017 4:24:26 GMT
Brokenmama, my heart goes out to you. As a grandma, I understand the love you have for your grands and that you would do almost anything for them. I don't think I could stand the thought of mine in a dirty place where they are unhappy and maybe not even safe.
You say you only can have your grands for a few days a week without physical pain. Broken, if you don't take care of yourself, you will not be able to watch your love bugs for even a few days. Not to mention the stress you are receiving from your AK's disrespect and obnoxious behavior. I know you are "...begging God for help and guidance....", but what do you feel HE wants you to do? I know sometimes we are so stressed that we cannot even read the Word or Pray or hear HIS voice. But those are the times HE can speak to you through other Godly people. Have you spoken to your pastor or a Godly woman or couple who are wise and trustworthy? Are you able to see a Christian counselor on a regular basis? I pray you have the strength to seek Godly counsel and the strength to do God's will. "A man's heart plans his way, but God directs his steps." Prov. 16:9 I pray God directs you and you will follow HIS leading. Praying for you. Rest in the Lord, my sister.
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Post by lindajoan on Aug 7, 2017 13:15:52 GMT
You are kind to want to spare your innocent gc of a terrible situation but it seems to me that taking care of them at this time is hurtful for you. I believe it is time to give yourself a break. Please consider that you need to care for yourself now. The Lord gave us one body and mind. Please pray if you should step back for now. God will guide you. He cares. So do we.
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Post by brokenmama on Aug 7, 2017 20:15:48 GMT
thank you jeepgirl and lindajoan....Good thoughts i will think and pray on......I cant afford counseling (no insurance and low cost ones here have not been any good)......I have a Godly friend i talk with regularly........I know i have to care for myself. My adult son has never been this bad before.......Every comment i make , even small talk, is seen as a challenge.....I am his biggest helper and i know for a fact the lady they leave them with, he is no fan of her. Something is going on i dont know about......thank you again for your thoughts. They are truly appreciated
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Post by luke2231 on Aug 8, 2017 0:39:19 GMT
Brokenmama,
I'm so sorry you have to endure such abuse just to see those sweet babies. I have no words of wisdom for you, just that I will pray for you. I don't know how, where or when, but God is making a way for you in this desert somehow. He hasn't forgotten you, your needs or your desires. He is upholding you and your family with all that He is, was and will be. He is with you, and so are we.
Sending you hugs and prayers.
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Post by brokenmama on Aug 8, 2017 3:36:36 GMT
thank you Luke........i know this is spiritual warfare.....a huge battle going on .......my ex, who i have had contact with as he is concerned too, is also a very toxic person. I have never met a weirder human being.......caring one minute, ice cold and verbally bludgeoning you in the next....a pitiful man. I cannot be around him and shouldnt even be talking to him.....This is all so mixed up and scary and strange...........I thank you for your prayers. The childrens home life is chaotic right now, although both parents work and work very hard at difficult jobs.....I am dealing with multiple Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde type personalities.......I plead for our childrens heart to turn to the Lord our God and Jesus His Son.......for grace and healing...
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Post by luke2231 on Aug 11, 2017 17:46:45 GMT
Just checking in on you, brokenmama... How are these days? Any change in the dynamics of the situation? Feeling more at peace, hopefully? Still praying!!!
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Post by brokenmama on Aug 12, 2017 13:15:45 GMT
Thank you very much for checking luke....not much has changed. I do say no when i feel i cant keep the kids.....i often say yes when i would rather not, sometimes i'd just like a weekend alone........i cant talk to my son. There is much going on that i know nothing about, i know that........i dont know if i feel more at peace or am too tired to worry about it........thank you again
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Post by everloving11 on Aug 13, 2017 17:48:00 GMT
I don't know what to say except that I'll pray. If I were in your situation, I would be very discouraged. Ask for God's perspective and an ability to view things from His point of view.  |
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Post by brokenmama on Aug 14, 2017 14:52:15 GMT
Thank you everloving. It is very discouraging.....i am very tired of it and dealing with other issues....employment problems etc........I try to take one day at a time .. This is one hard road. I rarely let myself think back on when my children were young and happy ......those people dont exist anymore. I pray and I am doing the best I can with a very bad situation
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