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Post by JeepGirl on Aug 5, 2017 16:22:30 GMT
Although I have been blessed with a rather peaceful summer, my husband and I became "churchless" (but not "Godless). I am sure most of us on here realize the need of support from our church families.
Right now, working in a Christian shop in a Christian community, and having the opportunity to hear bible teachers daily and concerts on Saturday nights and then more wonderful speakers on Sundays, in addition to different church worship and praise teams on the boardwalk, I am doing just fine. But Labor Day is just around the corner and it is about that time that this beautiful community shuts down for the winter and all is gone until next Spring. Then, I know the realization will hit that we no longer have a church home.
We haven't been "church shopping" because there really hasn't been a need and this community has made it so easy not to be concerned about a new church home. My other problem is that I just have become so discouraged with churches and leadership and their "doctrines". So much "stuff" is happening within all denominations and even those who say they are not a "denomination".
My husband and I, for years, attended one of those non-denominational churches (hundreds across the US and abroad-lol) and we received a great bible foundation (always taught expository through the Bible), contemporary worship including hymns and felt it was our home for many years. And, now, they are experiencing a major change and we are not sure which side we support (it is all mixed up). We visited a denominational church for a few months and loved the pastor's teaching but when I was in the women's group, I discovered their rigidness from which Bible to read, to no contemporary music, and the list kept growing. Also, there were no young families or young adults there.
I have been a Christian for over 30 years and graduated from Bible College. After graduating, I realized I only scratched the surface and there was so much more to learn about the Bible and Jesus. But it was a good foundation. I studied various cults and now have an awareness of what is going on within today's churches and it is so disturbing. Even the store I work in has books and devotionals that I, personally, would never use. However, I am trying to keep a balance (not compromise my beliefs) but to extend love and grace to those who are not saved and to remember where I came from. This story is too long to tell, but my best friend in the world who passed away several years ago got saved from reading the commentaries at the bottom of each page in the Bible I gave her. So, I know, God does not need a particular Bible or even "us".
I have shared all this just wondering if any of you are going through anything like this. One thing I truly believe, is we do need a church home or strong Christian support system as we go through our estrangements. |
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Post by byhisgracealone on Aug 5, 2017 17:23:39 GMT
I appreciate the honest of your situation JeepGirl. My situation isn't the same, but I have been questioning remaining in my church recently. I've been a member for over a decade, and truly love the church and the pastors. When a few uncomfortable things occurred over the years, I prayed about them, and realized that we all make mistakes and moved on. But recently, I'm not so sure I can do that again. It is a little bit of a long story, but it has been bothering me, but your post brought it to the surface, and I would appreciate others opinions....
My son has been a volunteer in the media department of our church for many years. He has always enjoyed helping in any way he could, and he was good at it as well. (The church relies on volunteers except the lead director position.) When the church lost their media director several years ago, my son stepped in and ran the directing and programming on his own until they hired a new director, all while working his fulltime job. Then he showed the new director the ropes, and remained a volunteer however he could help, camera's, directing the services, etc. Eventually, the new director began to schedule my son only to be a "fill in" cameraman to jump up and run the cameras when his "new" younger cameramen would show up late. After a while, my son requested working back in the control room, and not just filling in camera's until late comers arrived. The director agreed, and told my son he would schedule him to direct once or twice per month. We'll, that hasn't happened.
Each week, my son comes to Church wearing his media shirt, and pokes his head into the control room to see if he's needed, of if he's been placed on the schedule. When he comes down to sit with me through the service, I know once again the director hasn't scheduled him. Knowing the history of how much work my son put into the programming before this new director was hired, it hurts for me to see how he's being slowly eliminated from the volunteer team. My situation is that my son is a grown man, and I feel it isn't appropriate for me to speak for him, but it's grown pretty uncomfortable for me as his mother to give my devotion and financing to a church where "lifting up the brethren," may or may not be a priority. Maybe I should also mention, this new directors wife is the lead singer on the worship team. I'm beginning to wonder who the new director is there to worship??
I'm sorry Jeepgirl, I know this really doesn't directly pertain to your situation, but it struck a nerve about attending a church where Our Lord is worshiped, not our friends, and those in our "click." Thankyou for letting me express this in response to your post...I've been praying about how to handle possibly leaving the church....
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Post by lindajoan on Aug 5, 2017 18:30:35 GMT
Jeep, it is a difficult situation you are going through. The first thing that comes to mind which I'm sure you have already done is prayer. It really is so important to attend a church where you and DH feel comfortable to worship Jesus with other believers. It is a place to serve also. I will keep this in prayer.
I think it is wrong the way your son has been discouraged by new leadership. Sadly, this happens too often. Let's pray that the new leaders will recognize how unloving this is. Could you suggest to your son that he might mention having a discuss with them? It may help them to understand how he really is hurt by it. I will pray.
We all need to good church in our lives. God bless you. The Holy Spirit will guide. Please keep us posted dear ones.
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Post by difficulttime2 on Aug 6, 2017 1:39:41 GMT
I am on the West Coast and this has been an issue for many many Christians here. Many, many churches have become tainted with false doctrines. No church is better than a bad church IMO. There are many online and tv churches that you can be a part of in the interim, which can really be a blessing until you find something.
We are currently church less, mostly because I have become disabled and it is painful for me to sit in the service right now. Still, God has been good to provide opportunities to minister and I am still involved in the lives of other Christians and have fellowship.
I wouldn't sweat it ... you will know when you are ready ... just be patient and you will know when you find the 'right church' for your family. The doctrine problem has really become a big issue here, and I think across the nation. Sign of the times ... and so don't get stuck thinking you have to attend church for the sake of attending church--I also grew up with the notion that of course if you are a believer, you attend a local church. That is just not the case anymore. There are so many BAD churches out there ... full of false doctrine and you really have to be careful! Yes, it is wonderful when you have a wonderful church ... but honestly, those are fewer and fewer -- it's really unbelieveable. ... there's more than one way to get this done IMO.
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Post by JeepGirl on Aug 6, 2017 15:52:32 GMT
byhisgracealone, I think your reply was very relevant to my post. It is exactly what I have seen happen throughout the years in most churches. I realized a long time ago, politics and nepotism do exist in churches. Most of the time, we observed it but, when it happens to you, personally, or a family member it is hard to ignore. I agree with lindajoan that your son should probably talk to director but it may be a little too late. You said your son had a fulltime job when the position became vacant. However, do you think he would have wanted the position of director back then? If so, I guess that would have been the time to speak up. As time progressed and the changes started to occur, I believe, because of his quiet spirit, they were able to move forward without him. It could have been a communication problem that continued to escalate. The only way your son will know for certain is to speak to someone and then you would be in a better position to decide what to do about staying or leaving. Being hurt by fellow Believers is really sad and painful but, in reality, it will happen in any church we attend. It's not about Jesus, it is about the world and human nature. I believe the answer is more about how each of us will handle these situations. I, personally, decided to attend, become part of the fellowship but not serve unless I am asked or they are seeking volunteers. There are many ways to serve outside of our church homes. And I want to keep my eyes looking up, on Jesus, rather than the pastor(s) or people.
Difficult2, the church we have attended for years actually started out on the West Coast and moved East back in the 80's. We loved the simplicity, teaching and worship. The only "doctrine" was the Bible and the church seemed to be very balanced. Now that the founder passed away a few years ago, a split has occurred and we are not sure about it yet. Wondering if some of the false doctrine is starting to seep in. So, we have visited some denominational churches and they just don't seem to be working. I do know that scripture says we should not forsake the assembling of fellow believers (paraphrasing) and I realize it doesn't have to be in a church building. But I am praying for a "group" or "church" to be able to assemble with.
As Believers, we receive such wonderful support on this site and I think we need that same support in our daily lives. And it may be only one or two other Believers. God will take care of us.
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Post by byhisgracealone on Aug 6, 2017 16:37:39 GMT
Thankyou so much Jeepgirl. I took your original post, and made a left turn, and you responded with support. Attending a church or not, you have the heart of Christ, and Jesus is apparent in your spirit.
My son did not have an interest in the position fulltime when it became available, since he was already in a very fulfilling position as a news director in a local station, and still has that position. I guess that's another reason I struggle to understand the reasoning of the church director. I've told my son that maybe it's because the new director wanted to revise the way programming was being processed in his own way, but since directing is my son's profession, I think it confuses him (and me,) even more.
Thankyou to everyone on this site for being there to listen when we express situations that are hurtful, and confusing. I will pray for The Lord to guide you Jeep, in your search for a home church. Blessings..
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Post by luke2231 on Aug 6, 2017 19:05:02 GMT
JeepGirl,
We're in a good church now, but I understand your frustration. Our church doesn't have any people on staff in a paid position; it's all volunteer, but I think that's very, very rare. For the most part, I think "the church" has been corrupted with a bit of the secular worldview so prevalent in culture today. I don't really have a lot of respect for most churches, but I do think that there are a great many more decent Christian people out there that feel let down by organized Christianity as well.
I have a family member who is one of the senior pastors serving in a mega-churche in the South. I don't doubt his heart at all, but it seems that like any large corporation, school system, government, etc... there are those that benefit greatly. This is a real conundrum for me because who is to say how much is too much when you've worked your way "up" in any organization, but it seems that some of the pastors are living REALLY comfortably and the tithe money isn't being used for the ministry that it could be. Again, this is ME, but it makes me more than a little uncomfortable.
Anyway, I understand what you're saying about not being able to find a "good" church. I think that there are more of the kinds of churches out there like the one my family member is part of, but again, there are a lot of really wonderful Christians out there too. And, there are good churches!!! You may just have to be patient until God leads you to the right one. Sending prayers your way...
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Post by everloving11 on Aug 13, 2017 17:36:39 GMT
Sorry I've been out of commission for a few months, partly due to this very issue. The church we had attended for well over a decade and weathered through 3 pastors finally dissolved. Much as I loved the last pastor, I no longer could stomach the odd doctrine (salvation is just a desire for God, no Heaven or Hell, no need to witness or have missionaries, if you have a choice to take a passage literally or figuratively, do the latter. Plus, it was a one-family run affair and I had very little input or ability to serve. I too am a Bible college graduate so I patiently waded through all this, but finally realized I had been 'translating' everything he said to fit with what the Bible says and I had no more energy to do so. Once we withdrew our support, we faded off the scene and it was decided that the church should cease to exist. Sigh...I had been a part of finding a new pastor each time, but no more. Well, we have found an established church that majors on the same things we major on. It is a joy to serve and be involved in missions, Bible study and growth, solid Bible preaching, friendliness and fellowship, connections, small groups, etc. Even though I'm busier serving, I am much more refreshed and relaxed. Even sharing about our ES in small groups is not met with judgement or condemnation, but compassion and understanding. It's surprising how many others our age are going through the same thing. The bottom line is, don't give up. There's a group out there that needs what you have to offer, even if it's nothing more than a smile and friendly 'hello'. Just like I sense when you all are smiling (like right now!) that is sometime all the encouragement I need.  |
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Post by lindajoan on Aug 13, 2017 22:18:38 GMT
Everloving, You are so right on.
Blessings
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